Areas of Life: Communication
How the Connection Styles communicate with the people in their lives
How the Connection Styles communicate with the people in their lives
About: Communication
Our Areas of Life categories help define how we interact with the world. Rather than define our relationships either romantically or through friendships, we have created an expansive system focused on all areas of a person’s life, from their interactions at work to how they create their chosen families and participate in their broader communities.
What do you have to say for yourself? Depending on the Connection Styles, it can be a lot or a little. We define communication as the conscious or unconscious ways in which you choose to articulate and express yourself in the world. Understanding your own methods of communication through your Connection Style (as well as how other Connection Styles communicate) can help unlock new depths of connection in your relationships.
In this Areas of Life guide, we will break down how the Connection Styles communicate with the people in their lives.
Connection Styles and Communication
The ways in which we consciously or unconsciously choose to articulate
Cultivators
By learning how to be forthcoming, even when it’s hard and their instincts say not to burden other people, Cultivators can actually heal, improve and grow in their lives. It may take a Cultivator a longer time to confront someone, maybe even months. Working through what to say with another person before having the confrontation may be beneficial. With new boundaries and practices, the Cultivator’s relationships can turn into a healthier give and take.
Seekers
When Seekers are content in their relationships, they want to engage with the people who make them feel happiest. They are happy with others expressing their joy through whatever makes them happiest. However, if a problem arises, Seekers also have a tendency to not address situations head-on, either avoiding them entirely or becoming passive aggressive about their feelings. Rather than dwell, a Seeker will most benefit from saying what they feel. Others value the opinion of a Seeker. Clearer expression of problems will lead to the deeper relationships they crave.
Enthusiasts
Enthusiasts are hyperverbal, able to use their words to communicate all manner of how they feel. But they use their words most often to communicate the positive. Enthusiasts love to communicate to those they love about why they love them and how much their relationships mean to them. They value the people in their lives and don’t seek to change them. Unlike the Seeker or Truth Teller, Enthusiasts aren’t prone to sharing unsolicited advice and are accepting of the faults of others.
When conflict does arise, Enthusiasts can own their part of a conflict and are unlikely to play the “blame game.” They are able to separate out these complicated emotions and stick to the facts. They strive to create healthier relationships with those they love. Their resilient nature means they bounce back from conflict. They likely don’t hold a grudge.
Organizers
Organizers value an upfront approach to their relationships, at least new ones. They will express their weaknesses and issues so people understand, and hope others will do the same for them. Reciprocal communication keeps connections with Organizers healthy.
Whether their chosen “love language” is acts of service, words of affirmation or quality time, an Organizer expects others to “show up” for them in the same way. And while they may struggle with talking about their emotions (as it doesn’t feel particularly helpful), having healthy confrontations can help resolve any lingering issues for an Organizer.
Truth Tellers
Truth Tellers are clear communicators, but sometimes, that clarity can be too sharp. Truth Tellers speak first and sometimes regret later. They may not realize the impact of their words on those around them, but when they do, they may dwell on their memories. They may spend time worrying if they said the “wrong” thing or, more likely, the right thing in the wrong way.
But Truth Tellers aren’t afraid to talk it out and, most of the time, prefer it. They don’t want bad feelings to linger and would rather get it out in the open than ignore it. They don’t mind active confrontation, as it can feel like an echo of their favorite communication style—spirited debate. If the relationship is worth it, they will bounce back from any disagreement. But if the relationship is lacking, they can easily walk away.