Areas of Life: Romance
Romance doesn’t always come easy for certain People Patterns.
Romance doesn’t always come easy for certain Connection Styles.
About: Romance
Our Areas of Life categories help define how we interact with the world. Rather than define our relationships either romantically or through friendships, we have created an expansive system focused on all areas of a person’s life, from their interactions at work to how they create their chosen families and participate in their broader communities.
Romance doesn’t always come easy for certain Connection Styles. How we choose to show up for those we date, love and marry can vary. While some may approach romantic relationships in the same way they do friendships or family connections, others may struggle with the levels of intimacy needed to make a genuine connection.
In this Areas of Life guide, we will break down how the Connection Styles approach all areas of romance in their lives.
Connection Styles and Romance
How we choose to show up for those we date, love and marry
Cultivators
Cultivators approach their romantic relationships in the same way they approach other types of relationships. They express their interest through talking to someone and caring about what they say.
Trust is critical, both physically and emotionally. A person has to feel like they could be part of a Cultivator’s “family” in order for the relationship to last. If the connection is secure, they will want to and actively be more open compared to other relationships. Communication is vital.
Seekers
Unlike some other persona types, Seekers may not approach their romantic relationships in the same way that they approach other relationships in their life. Dating may not “allow” them to be their authentic selves (a struggle with intimacy and vulnerability), making them not as enthused by the prospect in the first place. This might be described as an “anxious-avoidant” attachment style.
Romantic relationships may have many additional components compared to other relationships, affecting how and why a Seeker approaches them. Romantic relationships may not be “comparable.” Seekers may benefit from a romantic partner who is forthcoming, open and expressive, with a good ability to do emotional navigation. However, that doesn’t mean Seekers shouldn’t work on themselves while in the relationship.
Enthusiasts
Enthusiasts view their romantic and platonic relationships similarly. They communicate with romantic partners like they do with their friends. Enthusiasts strive to bring their full selves to all of their relationships, and romantic partnerships are no different.
They will enthusiastically “be there,” in all their rah-rah glory, for those they love romantically, as much as they are there for those they love platonically. This desire—to treat romantic and platonic relationships as the same—may not always pan out, however, and adjustments sometimes need to be made.
Organizers
Long-term relationships may come more easily for Organizers. Their dedication to their partnerships—whether they be friendships, family members, or romantic—develop at an early age. This consistency makes it easy for them to form something solid. But Organizers often view their romantic relationships in a different light than their other connections.
An Organizer’s partner may be quite different from them. Organizers are able to navigate and “show up” for the differences in a partner that they may not accept in other people. In turn, they hope their partner will do the same for them. Like with their friendships, trustworthiness and reliability are key in their relationships.
Truth Tellers
Truth Tellers view their romantic relationships in the same way they view their platonic ones. In romance, like in platonic relationships, they want to bring their full selves. They need to find romantic partners who can understand the ways they communicate and don’t mind that the message often comes in a blunt package. Truth Tellers must learn to compromise and be vulnerable to have a romantic relationship that thrives.
While Truth Tellers may sometimes see kindness and vulnerability as weakness, their growth is dependent on realizing the strength and power of boundaries, while also acknowledging and reflecting on the feelings of others. This will lead to a healthy, long-term relationship.