Connection Style Guide: The Organizer
If you’re looking for a dependable friend or companion, look no further than the reliable Organizer.
If you’re looking for a dependable friend or companion, look no further than the reliable Organizer.
About the Organizer
The Organizer strives to be a reliable and consistent friend. You are thoughtful, never missing a birthday or important life event. Your superpower is in your ability to show up when others need you. You understand the value of structure and use your organizational skills to improve the lives of those around you. You take pride in being there when others need you. You are dedicated to those you love. You have a clear vision for your life and aren’t afraid to pursue the goals you set out for yourself.
You can sometimes be hampered by your own high standards. You may find it hard to be a beginner. You may expect immediate success and have trouble giving yourself grace when trying things if you don’t instantly excel. You may struggle to be vulnerable, fearing mistakes may reduce you in others’ eyes.
The Organizer's attentive nature and conscientious actions make them an important member of any friend group or family.
Strengths
— If an Organizer says they'll show up, they will. They honor their commitments.
— Organizers put time and effort into selecting gifts, remembering birthdays and acknowledging other important days within the lives of their loved ones.
Hurdles
— Organizers may struggle with letting go of expectations they have for others. They want people to “show up” for them in the ways they will show up for others. However, not everyone values that approach to their relationships.
Areas of Life
Our categories help define how we interact with the world. Rather than define our relationships either romantically or through friendships, we have created an expansive system focused on all areas of a person’s life, from their interactions at work to how they create their chosen families and participate in their broader communities.
FAMILY
Those closest to us, connected either through blood or through choice
While an Organizer may take on a more managerial role for their family, having a close and deep connection is just as important as other Connection Styles. “Chosen” family members are just as—if not more—valuable to Organizers than their family by birth. Those chosen family members may “get” an Organizer in ways other people don’t, and those connections may be as close as with a romantic partner. An Organizer can be their full-self with their chosen family.
For Organizers, chosen family tends to have the same outlook on life and can offer much-needed support in a way other Connection Styles don’t see or understand. Organizers know their chosen family will show up when they need them, making for a cohesive support system. Likewise, Organizers tend to inhibit that same role for their chosen family, too.
HEALTH
How our interactions with other people can affect our mental and physical health
An Organizer’s tendency to always show up means they are left feeling depleted after interactions with certain people. Creating the right kind of connections can facilitate better health. With their chosen family, Organizers can communicate their needs as well as establish boundaries. With other people, they may let problems slide, causing an emotional and physical buildup that can lead to burnout. It is important for Organizers to recognize when people drain their emotional energy without reciprocity, and cut them off or out for their own health.
CAREER
How we choose to show up in places of work and responsibility
A lively work environment is likely important, or at least beneficial, for Organizers. Unlike some other Connection Styles, Organizers tend to have strong relationships with their coworkers. Like other areas of their life, Organizers want to “show up” and find it is important to “be there” for their coworkers. They will gravitate toward people, wanting to get to know them and learn what makes them tick. In leadership positions, this helps them understand when something is off. Likewise, they want others to be able to trust them. Good at seeing both one’s strengths and weaknesses, Organizers are valuable additions to most organizations.
FRIENDSHIP
Best friends, good friends and the acquaintances in our lives
Reliability and dependability are important in an Organizer’s friendships. Organizers are “helpers.” They will dive in to help anyone. However, it may feel one-sided if their friends don’t do the same for them. Those people wouldn’t get the status of friend or family, meaning an Organizer may have many acquaintances, but only a small, trusted circle of actual friends.
Organizers value a “golden rule” of doing for others what they want others to do for them. Therefore, showing up is key. They will do the work to maintain their “circle.” If something big is occurring in a friend’s life, they will—at minimum—reach out. This includes sending thoughtful gifts or cards for events like birthdays, anniversaries and births. For their closest friendships, they know the other person will do the same for them. And if they are unable to “be there,” an Organizer will always explain why, as soon as they can.
UNDERCURRENTS
The subconscious things we experience when communicating with and navigating the world
Other people see Organizers as trustworthy problem solvers who are typically reliable and thoughtful. Like their names indicate, Organizers have a natural talent for organization and use those skills to help improve the lives of those around them. It is important for organizers to not let other people down. However, the ways in which other people perceive them may affect how they behave. This can have positive and negative effects. Their need to “show up” includes how other people see them, too.
ROMANCE
How we choose to show up for those we date, love and marry
Long-term relationships may come more easily for Organizers. Their dedication to their partnerships—whether they be friendships, family members, or romantic—develop at an early age. This consistency makes it easy for them to form something solid. But Organizers often view their romantic relationships in a different light than their other connections. An Organizer’s partner may be quite different from them. Organizers are able to navigate and “show up” for the differences in a partner that they may not accept in other people. In turn, they hope their partner will do the same for them. Like with their friendships, trustworthiness and reliability are key in their relationships.
COMMUNITY
Our neighbors, our towns and our larger communities
It is important for an Organizer to show up for their community in practical ways. They will try to, for example, know the names of the people in their apartment community or on their block. They’ll give back to charity and volunteer when they can. Causes may be important. And they’ll likely always bring a housewarming gift for a new neighbor. Showing up is key, and an Organizer will “show up” for their community because showing up helps foster a healthier, broader overall community. Being a “good citizen” comes natural to an Organizer, and they will do their part how they can.
EDUCATION
How we discover, process and learn in the world
Learning, like other areas of their lives, is important for Organizers. Education is a way for Organizers to “show up,” both for themselves and for others. Not only is learning a good use of their time, it is important for them to evolve as a person. Organizers don’t want to stay “stuck,” and education keeps them knowledgeable and at the forefront. There is always something new and something “more” out there.
Although Organizers may struggle with accepting failure in the beginning of their educational journeys, they will push through their apprehension. Their thrill to accomplish something, especially if it is outside of what is expected of them, motivates them. And in the end, learning the right things—like setting boundaries—can help both an Organizer and their personal relationships.
SPIRITUALITY
The communities we form and interact with through our spiritual practices
Organizers are not necessarily as spiritual as other People Patterns, although they do see the value in mindfulness. For Organizers, mindfulness can be another way to be a good, decent person in the world and to give back or show up for others. Although they may struggle with incorporating mindfulness into their own lives, they likely see the value in having some sort of practice.
If they are able to find one, a spiritual community can be valuable for an Organizer, who will appreciate the community’s encouragement to “be better” or show up during important times.
COMMUNICATION
The ways in which we consciously or unconsciously choose to articulate
Organizers value an upfront approach to their relationships, at least new ones. They will express their weaknesses and issues so people understand, and hope others will do the same for them. Reciprocal communication keeps connections with Organizers healthy.
Whether their chosen “love language” is acts of service, words of affirmation or quality time, an Organizer expects others to “show up” for them in the same way. And while they may struggle with talking about their emotions (as it doesn’t feel particularly helpful), having healthy confrontations can help resolve any lingering issues for an Organizer.