Connection Style Guide: The Seeker
Meaning and purpose drive all areas of a Seeker’s life.
Meaning and purpose drive all areas of a Seeker’s life.
About the Seeker
The Seeker strives to find meaning—in your life, your world and your relationships. Creative and caring, you take time to engage in self-reflection. You are a good listener who can provide non-judgmental advice to those around you. You endeavor to understand the deeper emotions of every situation. You are seen by others as a fair judge—able to see things from multiple perspectives. You are curious and interested, always wanting to know more. Your journey of self-discovery will never end.
Your caring heart can be both your strength and your weakness. When hurt, you may have trouble letting your pain go. Your emotional intelligence can sometimes tip into codependent behaviors. You may get lost trying to discover the emotional root of your life and occasional problems.
The Seeker’s emotional awareness and ability to provide an understanding ear will always be appreciated by those you love.
Strengths
— Reflective and introspective, Seekers are able to consider their part in situations, in conflicts and in the world around them.
— Seekers are curious and willing to grow. Even when they are reluctant to do so, Seekers are capable of change.
Hurdles
— Deeply insightful, Seekers may struggle with letting go of past struggles or conflicts in their connections with others. This may lead to passive aggressiveness in their interactions.
— Analytical with their emotions and interactions, Seekers may unknowingly create false perceptions or interpretations of situations without basing their beliefs on the full picture.
Areas of Life
Our categories help define how we interact with the world. Rather than define our relationships either romantically or through friendships, we have created an expansive system focused on all areas of a person’s life, from their interactions at work to how they create their chosen families and participate in their broader communities.
FAMILY
Those closest to us, connected either through blood or through choice
Seekers may have and value a family by birth or a chosen family. They are less likely to lean one way more than the other. What they value are authentic relationships, and they will gravitate toward (or cultivate) relationships that are rooted in that authenticity. And Seekers will work to make their families “feel” more authentic. They are likely the ones to maintain traditions or recall past memories of impactful events to emphasize their importance.
HEALTH
How our interactions with other people can affect our mental and physical health
Seekers typically feel energized after their interactions with the right people. However, if something goes wrong in one of their relationships, they might dwell on or even shut down due to the weight of their emotions, especially in unexpected situations. Feelings of sadness or anxiety may permeate. Not addressing these feelings in the moment or after a short period of time can make them build on top of each other, leading to issues both physical and mental.
CAREER
How we choose to show up in places of work and responsibility
Seekers don’t feel it is necessary to develop strong relationships with their co-workers (as the nature of work may hinder authentic connection), though they might anyway. As a “deep” person and a good listener, other people often look to Seekers for growth or advice applicable to their own lives. This helps establish good bonds with their co-workers, if they are open to it. Seekers who display positivity in the workplace will likely find success. People look up to Seekers, so their opinions hold more weight than they may imagine.
FRIENDSHIP
Best friends, good friends and the acquaintances in our lives
Vulnerability is important to Seekers in establishing and deepening their connections with others. It helps bring people together. Seekers don’t value people who lack vulnerability and authenticity. Seekers may have many types of friends. More than other types, Seekers may have many acquaintances because they can compartmentalize interesting, but not deep connections.
However, Seekers value having a few close friends they can trust. Quality is more important than quantity. Too many “middle of the road” friends signifies a lack of depth. Low-quality friends are those who don’t connect, either through quality time or communication. It is important for Seekers when people show up, and it is the same for them in reverse.
UNDERCURRENTS
The subconscious things we experience when communicating with and navigating the world
Other people perceive Seekers as caring, attentive and perceptive. Even if the Seeker may find fault in the strength of their connection, others will likely say a Seeker’s strengths outweigh any of their perceived weaknesses. Seekers would describe themselves as compassionate, empathetic and loyal, a quality they also hope others may later embody.
ROMANCE
How we choose to show up for those we date, love and marry
Unlike some other persona types, Seekers may not approach their romantic relationships in the same way that they approach other relationships in their life. Dating may not “allow” them to be their authentic selves (a struggle with intimacy and vulnerability), making them not as enthused by the prospect in the first place. This might be described as an “anxious-avoidant” attachment style.
Romantic relationships may have many additional components compared to other relationships, affecting how and why a Seeker approaches them. Romantic relationships may not be “comparable.” Seekers may benefit from a romantic partner who is forthcoming, open and expressive, with a good ability to do emotional navigation. However, that doesn’t mean Seekers shouldn’t work on themselves while in the relationship.
COMMUNITY
Our neighbors, our towns and our larger communities
It may be important for Seekers to have a connection to their broader community, though there isn’t a set way this manifests in their lives. Their broader connections are typically determined by the circumstances of their life. The Seeker’s ability to form many acquaintances makes it easier for them to have a connection to their broader community, even if they may be left unsatisfied by the connection if it is inauthentic or only surface-level.
EDUCATION
How we discover, process and learn in the world
Research and implementation is key for how Seekers learn. They have a need to understand the value in something and how it can apply to their life. They want to go deeper in most areas of life, and doing research allows them to do so. Learning new things helps them connect with others. And if something particularly resonates with a Seeker, they will likely want to share what they’ve learned with others in the hopes that it will improve their lives, too.
SPIRITUALITY
The communities we form and interact with through our spiritual practices
Most Seekers have a spiritual practice, although they may not prescribe to any one religion. Their general curiosity for life and “going deeper” means they are more open to learning about and practicing spirituality in a way that other Connection Styles may not.
Seekers, due to their inquisitive nature, are more likely to practice mindfulness, keeping their spiritual interests “open.” They enjoy having a collective experience with other people, and even if they don’t have a spiritual community in the present, they would likely be open to it in the future.
COMMUNICATION
The ways in which we consciously or unconsciously choose to articulate
When Seekers are content in their relationships, they want to engage with the people who make them feel happiest. They are happy with others expressing their joy through whatever makes them happiest. However, if a problem arises, Seekers also have a tendency to not address situations head-on, either avoiding them entirely or becoming passive aggressive about their feelings.
Rather than dwell, a Seeker will most benefit from saying what they feel. Others value the opinion of a Seeker. Clearer expression of problems will lead to the deeper relationships they crave.