Connection Style Guide: The Truth Teller
For the Truth Teller, honesty is their best—and likely only—policy.
For the Truth Teller, honesty is their best—and likely only—policy.
About the Truth Teller
The Truth Teller lives a life of honesty. You are brave enough to live authentically in every context by knowing yourself and understanding the world around you. This commitment to honesty extends to your relationships where you give valuable advice with your trademark clear-eyed realism. You love deeply by refusing to shy away from the hard parts of life. You may not feel confident, but others perceive you as such, impressed by your ability to speak the truth.
Your focus on honesty can sometimes prevent you from seeing the impact of your words. Your opinions carry weight with those you love, and you can sometimes take that weight for granted.
The Truth Teller’s sincerity and strength make them a valued advisor to friends, an important voice in a room and a committed, trustworthy partner.
Strengths
— Truth Tellers will always let you know how they feel. They are honest and upfront.
— Truth Tellers are loyal friends. They are committed to those they bring into their life.
Hurdles
— Truth Tellers can struggle with softening their message for others. They know how they feel and can use language others find “blunt” to say so.
— Truth Tellers may have a hard time accepting the limitations of others. They want the people in their life to be their best selves and may take it personally when others fall short.
— Truth Tellers often struggle with showing the world their softer side. They may avoid being emotionally vulnerable, even with those they love.
Areas of Life
Our categories help define how we interact with the world. Rather than define our relationships either romantically or through friendships, we have created an expansive system focused on all areas of a person’s life, from their interactions at work to how they create their chosen families and participate in their broader communities.
FAMILY
Those closest to us, connected either through blood or through choice
Truth Tellers may have both a chosen and blood family. Like with all of their relationships, Truth Tellers bring their full selves to their familial bonds. If Truth Tellers are in a healthy family dynamic, their relationships with family will be marked by honesty and openness. Families, knowing Truth Tellers best, are unphased by the communication style of Truth Tellers and can see the message behind their honest way of speaking.
HEALTH
How our interactions with other people can affect our mental and physical health
Truth Tellers can feel both depleted and energized by their relationships with others, depending on the person. If Truth Tellers spend time with someone in their circle, they will likely feel energized. But with people they don’t know well, they may feel depleted. They may feel like they can’t be themselves with strangers or even acquaintances. Truth Tellers prefer the intimacy of one-on-one interactions, where they don’t have to juggle the different emotional needs of several people.
CAREER
How we choose to show up in places of work and responsibility
Truth Tellers aren’t often focused on creating close relationships with their fellow co-workers. Work environments may make them feel stifled. They may feel like they have to hide part of themselves. In fact, they might prefer remote work, which requires less face time with co-workers, giving them time to rest and recharge between meetings. If they are in a work environment where they can be their authentic selves, they can thrive.
FRIENDSHIP
Best friends, good friends and the acquaintances in our lives
Truth Tellers value having a few close, but intimate, friendships. They often feel like they have to “manage” the emotions of others. In turn, they may feel overwhelmed by the emotions of others, the needs of those they love and the potential (or real) fallout from things they’ve said. They value one-on-one time because these types of get-togethers give them time to talk through their feelings and express themselves. Truth Tellers stand firm in their principles, and it may be hard for them to form connections with people who don’t share their worldview. Above all, Truth Tellers want friendships where they are prioritized, cared for and able to be honest. If Truth Tellers find themselves in subpar friendships, they won’t hesitate to cut out those relationships in favor of ones they feel are truly reciprocal.
UNDERCURRENTS
The subconscious things we experience when communicating with and navigating the world
The friends and family of Truth Tellers value their good advice and clear-eyed honesty. But those who do not know Truth Tellers well may read them as cold or dismissive. Truth Tellers have a hard time being vulnerable with others. Their friends, however, understand their direct advice for what it is—an expression of love. Those not close to the Truth Teller may see it as presumptuous.
ROMANCE
How we choose to show up for those we date, love and marry
Truth Tellers view their romantic relationships in the same way they view their platonic ones. In romance, like in platonic relationships, they want to bring their full selves. They need to find romantic partners who can understand the ways they communicate and don’t mind that the message often comes in a blunt package. Truth Tellers must learn to compromise and be vulnerable to have a romantic relationship that thrives. While Truth Tellers may sometimes see kindness and vulnerability as weakness, their growth is dependent on realizing the strength and power of boundaries, while also acknowledging and reflecting on the feelings of others. This will lead to a healthy, long-term relationship.
COMMUNITY
Our neighbors, our towns and our larger communities
Truth Tellers have strong principles and may find a cause (i.e., environmentalism, LGBTQ+ rights, etc.) as a reason to get involved in their broader community. But they aren’t bothered by not knowing their neighbors or community members. They will form relationships as it relates to their interests and passions, rather than just for the sake of it or due to proximity.
EDUCATION
How we discover, process and learn in the world
Truth Tellers learn through research and observation. They are keenly aware of the emotions of others and use this understanding to frame what they know. On subjects they are passionate about, Truth Tellers will stay on top of the latest news and innovations. Truth Tellers value sharing what they know, especially when speaking with others.
SPIRITUALITY
The communities we form and interact with through our spiritual practices
By and large, Truth Tellers do not have a spiritual practice. Although they may think of themselves as spiritual or religious, having a dedicated practice or spiritual community is not as important to them. This does not mean every Truth Teller lacks some form of spirituality in their lives. If they can find it and are passionate about it, a spiritual practice that speaks to an individual Truth Teller’s authentic self will certainly resonate and be long-lasting.
COMMUNICATION
The ways in which we consciously or unconsciously choose to articulate
Truth Tellers are clear communicators, but sometimes, that clarity can be too sharp. Truth Tellers speak first and sometimes regret later. They may not realize the impact of their words on those around them, but when they do, they may dwell on their memories. They may spend time worrying if they said the “wrong” thing or, more likely, the right thing in the wrong way.
But Truth Tellers aren’t afraid to talk it out and, most of the time, prefer it. They don’t want bad feelings to linger and would rather get it out in the open than ignore it. They don’t mind active confrontation, as it can feel like an echo of their favorite communication style—spirited debate. If the relationship is worth it, they will bounce back from any disagreement. But if the relationship is lacking, they can easily walk away.