Friends I've Met Online

The internet was always a safe haven for me growing up. A little bit different, a lot bit insecure—the internet became a place for me to explore who I really am, or who I’ve always wanted to be. It was a place for me to authentically experiment. It was a place for me to speak my mind, argue, question, and do it all over again the next day. It makes sense then that the internet was also a place for me to make friends. Of course, I did make friends in person through school or extracurricular activities and dance classes. But real life as an adolescent and young woman has a way of making you alter and conform to fit in for a bit and block out the noise. My life away from the internet was where I did anything to “survive” the difficulties of everyday life. I became who I needed to be to not be someone all alone. Physically, that became true. But internally, I felt alone as ever. And so I made friends online: through my blogs and tumblr, through Facebook and Twitter. And while different, they were still significant. They grew from nice comments to DMs to emails and video chats and text chains. They were significant because they were built with intention, authenticity, heart. Eventually, they became a respite too.

My life away from the internet was where I did anything to “survive” the difficulties of everyday life.

I used to make a distinction between my online friends (people like Jamie in Atlanta and Brittany in New York) and my IRL friends, but after a while, that slowly drifted away. I never talked about Lizzy Mercier Descloux albums or Hal Hartley films with my IRL friends. I never talked about the impact of Parker Posey’s character in “Party Girl” with my IRL friends. I never even really talked about my personal struggles or my insecurities or my fears with my IRL friends. Who can say an online friend matters less than one you see in the flesh? If it is easier to be your full self away from the noise of day-to-day life, then maybe the friends you make online are the ones who know you best. Maybe those friendships are the models for any others—in person or online—you may form in the future.