Friendship: Far From Home

Many of my friends are moving right now—for love, for family, for work. It is, to put it simply, a bummer. I know it wouldn’t make my husband happy and spacewise, it’d be tight, but… all of my friends should live in our one-bedroom apartment. We can spread some sleeping bags around. There’s room for everyone. Give me a couple of days to move the couch, and we’ll be set. Long-distance friendships can be hard. Friends are easier to keep, easier to know, when they live close by. Physical nearness makes the foundation for friendship easier to build. You have plenty of time and numerous opportunities to create memories together. You form inside jokes and find even more commonalities than those that first began your friendship. You go places together, watch movies together, catch up when you’ve both had a tough week. I am sad about every departure. But, at the same time, I feel confident that I can keep these friends. I have made multiple cross-country moves of my own. And, although I have definitely lost some things in transit (I’ll never forgive myself for losing the 1995 Museum of Science t-shirt that I got on a Girl Scout overnight), I’ve yet to lose a friendship. All of those friendships stayed with me, even if they are different from the friendships we shared when we lived in the same city. Long-distance friendships look different than their up-close counterparts. We talk less. But, when we talk, we do so for hours. We cover the distance between us with words.

I am sad about every departure. But, at the same time, I feel confident that I can keep these friends.

Long-distance friendships can feel like faith. I have faith that when we reconnect, we’ll still be there for one another. Long-distance friendship is the ultimate expression of the voluntary nature of friendship. I have made the effort to keep you in my heart and know you’ve made the same effort, miles away. And long-distance friendships are more creative than up-close ones. I’ll read the same books as my friends. I’ll play the same games, watch the same movies. When we’re in the stretches between catch-up phone calls, I can at least text: Chapter two was nuts! I’m rewatching Superstore! (Not to mention, if you’re my long-distance friend, you may occasionally get letters from me. Brag: I write amazing letters. This is the only actual benefit of moving away.) I prefer when my friends stay in the same town as me, of course. You can’t easily hug a long-distance friend. I’m not good at hugging, but so many of my friends are. I need those hugs. Oh, well. I always remind myself: the space between friends is only as large as you let it grow. So: I am making a promise—these friends won’t get lost. I’ll remember them. I’ll keep them in mind. I’ll discover new ways for us to connect, new forms of friendship that we can embody together.