How to Be a Good Neighbor
Gain a stronger sense of community by being kind, courteous and respectful to the people who live near you.
Gain a stronger sense of community by being kind, courteous and respectful to the people who live near you.
Your neighbors can play a major role in your social life, home life and overall happiness. Unlike your extended circle of friends and family, neighbors are immediately accessible to you, simply due to their physical proximity. Therefore, having a strong, healthy relationship with your neighbor is important. Psychologist Emma Seppälä, Ph.D. says, “social connection is one of our fundamental human needs, and it impacts our mental health, physical health, and longevity.”
Here, you’ll learn how to build a stronger relationship with one (or more) of your neighbors, no matter how long you’ve lived in your home.
What to do
A 2018 Pew Research Center study reported only 57% of people in the United States knew at least some of their neighbors. Additionally, about 1 in 4 adults under 30 don’t know any of the people around them.
Being a good neighbor can mean different things to people, but in general, it’s being friendly, accepting, mindful and willing to step in to help others. It’s having a relationship built on mutual respect for each other and making yourself available to offer assistance, whether it is big (house sitting while they’re on vacation) or small (providing a cup of sugar). Having an accepting and non-judgemental approach to the relationships with your neighbors can be just as important, if not more, than simply having a well-maintained lawn. This can mean being welcoming and accepting of your neighbor’s culture, religion or background, for example.
Take the first step and meet your neighbors. It can be as simple as walking up to them as they’re working in the yard or getting the mail and introducing yourself. You might also bring them a meal, treats or even some coffee or a bottle of wine. Becoming a part of your neighbor’s inner circle can start with a face-to-face interaction and a gesture of goodwill. Bringing over a baked good or a meal can cut through the awkwardness of first meeting someone and is a thoughtful gesture upon them or you moving to the neighborhood.
What not to do
When it comes to being a good neighbor, you don’t necessarily have to be close friends, but having a mutual relationship based on respect can go a long way.
You might not realize if you’ve done something to your neighbor that they could interpret as disrespectful. If your neighbor brings up a problem, try not to get defensive or retaliate and look to address their concerns to mend the relationship.
On the other hand, there are purposeful actions that are more obvious to your neighbor as a sign of disrespect. Gossiping with your other neighbors, being judgemental, being racist, outwardly ignoring your neighbors or disrespecting your shared community are clear ways your neighbors won’t think highly of you. Being a good neighbor means being a good human.
Because of personality differences, you unfortunately might not be able to always resolve conflict with your neighbor, but you can have an open and honest conversation about any issues affecting each other. What isn’t thoughtful, however, is retaliating or being resentful.
What to say
It’s easy, especially if you’re more introverted, to not talk with your neighbors, or just to give a wave when passing by. But you could be missing out on opportunities to connect with the people living around you.
Tell them your name and share your phone number if you’re comfortable. Ask them their name and add it to your Thoughtful app so you don’t forget. Give them a compliment on their garden, or the snowman their child built. By taking notice of something you like or appreciate about your neighbor's property, you can help spark a conversation and therefore, get to know your neighbor better.
You never know how your relationship with your neighbor will grow. By getting out there, talking with your neighbors, and offering your help, you might find yourself belonging to a community of people who look out for each other. And 2020 research from Brigham Young University showed these small acts of kindness can help people around you feel less lonely.
Summary
To recap, to be a good neighbor:
— Introduce yourself.
— Engage in face-to-face conversation.
— Adopt a mindset of acceptance and respect.
— Notice something you like or appreciate about your neighbor and let them know.
It can be helpful to everyone around you when belonging to a community. There’s a sense of comradery and looking out for each other when you get to know those around you. Getting along with your neighbors can have a positive impact in your neighborhood.