How to Be a Kinder Person

Becoming kinder is an achievable personal journey that requires intention, self-awareness and daily practice.

How to Be a Kinder Person

Becoming kinder is an achievable personal journey.

Alyssa Davis

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Being unkind fosters ill relationships. Establish a healthier mental framework and toolkit of habits to become a kinder person in your everyday life.

What to do

Take a moment to consider your kindness—or lack thereof—toward yourself. Do you think positively about yourself, or does your internal dialogue tend to lean toward negative self-talk? Treating yourself with empathy and kindness is the foundation for treating others the same way.

Next, assess your relationships with those around you. If you find that certain people in your life are often negative, judgemental or toxic, set boundaries for time spent together. Priorite your mental and emotional wellbeing in your journey toward becoming a kinder person.

Actively work toward making kindness a habit. Lasting change often starts with small acts that gradually turn into daily habits. Make an effort to practice simple acts of kindness, like holding the door for a stranger, smiling at a passerby or giving a friend a compliment. Taking these steps every day will soon become second nature. You won’t need to make a conscious effort to be kind—it will simply be second nature.

What not to do

Choosing to actively change is hard, and difficult moments can evoke the urge to give up. Don’t let unkind people or interactions deter you from your efforts toward kindness. Chalk up bad days and slip ups as one-offs, and know that you have the power to decide who you want to be and how you want to treat others every single day.

Don’t lose faith in humanity, either. Although you will inevitably face instances of cruelty from others, don’t lose sight of the fact that these few instances are usually far outweighed by the positive interactions you have with most people. We can never know all things about another person’s life, and certain circumstances can bleed into how people treat others. In an article for Harvard Medical School, Melissa Brodrick, M.Ed. reminds us that “when we are compassionate, we are recognizing our shared human condition. Compassion can guide us to acts of kindness.”

What to say

One of the most effective ways to be kind is through conversation. Intentionally greet others and ask how they are while actively listening to their response. Make a point to recall an earlier conversation you had, and check in with them on how things are going. Implementing kindness into your relationships in this way will make those in your life feel seen, heard and cared for by you.

If you find yourself having a bad day and catch yourself snapping at someone, take a breath, sincerely apologize and explain that your frustration is not aimed at them. They will appreciate your quick willingness to apologize and it will also remind them to give others grace and spread kindness.

Summary

Becoming a kinder person requires conscious effort and daily practice, but you can achieve a more empathetic mindset by:

— Looking within to identify and address negative self-talk

— Distancing yourself from negative, judgemental and toxic people

— Practicing small acts of kindness every day

Being compassionate toward people and their private circumstances

— Being humble and aware enough to apologize when you are unkind

Remember that every person and situation is distinct. What worked for one person in the past may not work for another person in the present. People are not looking for a problem solver or a fixer, but instead a dependable source of comfort. That can be you. Don’t take the role lightly.