How to Express Loving Kindness
To show loving kindness means to give compassion and empathy towards ourselves and others.
Give compassion and empathy to ourselves and others.
Loving-kindness is not just a feeling toward others but an action one can take, repeatedly, in their interactions with other people.
According to Emma Seppälä Ph.D., author and Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, practicing loving-kindness benefits our relationships with others and the world by helping to decrease bias, improving social interaction and connection, and increasing overall emotional intelligence.
Not only does showing loving-kindness impact others, it also impacts our physical body by helping to lower blood pressure, decreasing stress, and even has a positive impact on the prefrontal cortex of the brain which makes experiencing positive emotions easier. Practicing loving-kindness and compassion towards others has the power to change the world by cultivating a generation of compassionate human beings who have the capacity to love others indiscriminately.
What to do
Consider this scenario: it is a very busy work week and you are personally inundated with work-related responsibilities. However, a friend confides in you that they have been struggling with their mental health and they need to talk to you right away. What should you do to show loving-kindness to your friend?
Be deliberate in showing that you care not just with words, but with actions as well. The act of practicing loving-kindness is manifold. According to Dr. Waguih IsHak, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral neurosciences at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, showing loving-kindness as well as receiving loving-kindness can “give our love hormone levels a boost” as the body releases oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin when love is transferred. "They help us feel better and they help those who receive them. We're building better selves and better communities at the same time,” IsHak states.
Be genuine, and when you commit to giving someone your time and attention, actually follow through with them. Stay connected with the person by writing them an inspirational letter, sending a friendly email or even mailing a thoughtful care package.
What to say
Words have the power to heal and restore. When expressing loving-kindness through words, it is important to have a genuine and empathetic tone. Let them know that you are there for them. Be patient. Did they ask anything of you? If so, ask them how you can be there for them or how you can support them at this time.
Self-awareness leads to more self-love. This introspective behavior allows you to better love others. This self-awareness, in turn, helps you empathize with others and their experiences in a more effective manner. And following up with others is just as key. According to IsHak, “Acts of kindness have to be repeated.”
What not to say
When showing loving-kindness, it’s important to show others that they are valuable and that their experiences matter. Even if you are busy, set aside a time to actively be present, even if it is for a short amount of time. There is no such thing as a one-size fits all method when showing loving-kindness. However, never make a person feel as if they are not worth your time. Use thoughtful and considerate language when aiming to show loving-kindness as words have the power to build up, as well as tear down, someone’s self-esteem.
Summary
If you still need clarity on how to express loving-kindness, try these succinct, practical tips:
— Be deliberate in showing loving-kindness.
— Make time to reach out and be of service, and follow through with action steps.
— Remember that practicing loving-kindness is displayed with actions, and not just words.
— The act of showing loving kindness should be done repeatedly.
Showing loving-kindness is practiced through genuine actions and sincere words. It is important to establish boundaries when showing loving-kindness towards others, while also reassuring them that they are seen, heard and valued.