How to Navigate Other People’s Life Changes
Change is hard. Empathy and encouragement can ease the transition.
Change is hard. Empathy and encouragement can ease the transition.
Major changes in an individual’s life—whether it’s related to their career, school, family, romantic relationship or health—can bring up new emotions, stress, and changes to their routine or lifestyle. This can be a real time of need where they turn to their loved ones for help.
If someone you know is going through a time of change, you may wonder how to reach out and support them. Here, we’ll break down why it is important to show up for other people and how to be there for them as they navigate major life changes.
What is happening
When someone is going through a major life change, they may experience feelings of grief, a loss of control or isolation. This can be especially true if the change is something not of their choosing, like a health issue. In this case, they may seek emotional support or logistical guidance from their loved ones.
Or maybe they are venturing out into new territory of their own accord, like a career or relationship change. If so, they may want empathy and encouragement to support their decision.
What to do
First, remember that despite their life changes, they are the same person you know and love. Whatever you do, don’t be a stranger in their time of need! Stay connected instead of going silent.
When your friend talks about their life change, listen carefully to what they tell you. Express curiosity so that you fully understand their situation. Don’t make assumptions about what they’re going through; instead, ask questions if the information is not clear or you’re not sure how they feel.
Taking the time to understand their situation will help determine how you can best support them. Every situation is different, so again, it’s important to not assume what they want or need from you.
What to say
You may be afraid of saying the wrong thing, and that’s completely understandable. Your presence and listening ear may be all they need. Your friend most likely isn’t expecting you to “fix” anything, so you can express that you care about their well-being even if you’re not an expert in what they’re going through.
Remind your loved one that you’re here to help them on whatever path they follow. Your encouragement can help them feel confident in their decisions. Don’t offer your own opinions or ideas on what they should do, unless they explicitly ask you.
Remember that their feelings and needs might change over time. For Psychology Today, writer Bruce Feiler says, “Simply put, there is no single way to go through a life transition. Just as life is nonlinear, transitions themselves are nonlinear.” Stay open to their input and be flexible with the kind of support you offer.
Summary
A few key takeaways:
— Show up. Be present for them during this time, rather than going quiet in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing.
— Listen carefully. Aim to understand their individual experience instead of imposing your assumptions of what they’re going through
— Only offer advice when asked. Don’t insert any unsolicited opinions.
— Help in the way they want to be helped. Establish clear communication about the support they need and how you can participate.
Through it all, demonstrate your love and acceptance of them. Your open-mindedness and patience can help them through a time that might otherwise be very lonely and confusing.