How to Nourish Your Friendships
Foster deeper, longer-lasting relationships with your friends.
Foster deeper, longer-lasting relationships with your friends.
Making friends is difficult, and knowing how to nourish those friendships is an additional challenge. Although it can be a mountain to climb, it’s important to not only establish meaningful bonds with friends but also to make your platonic relationships a priority — maintaining strong friendships positively impacts mental, physical and emotional health.
According to the Mayo Clinic, “Adults with strong social connections have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure, and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI).” Additionally, “older adults who have meaningful relationships and social support are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.” These are just a few significant reasons to nourish your friendships throughout your life.
What to do
Friends are an invaluable tool for enriching your life and supporting your mental and emotional health. To nourish your friendships, establish a stress-free, open-door policy. Life gets in the way sometimes. Show your friends you’re committed to being there for them. Let them know they can reach out to you at any time and make it a priority to always return their texts, calls, video chats and other communications. You don’t need to respond immediately — again, keep it stress-free — but making time to respond and maintain your connection is paramount.
According to a 2021 study comprised of 323,200 participants from 99 different countries conducted by the departments of psychology at Columbia University and Michigan State University, participants across many cultures and countries indicated that “valuing friendships is generally associated with better health, well-being, and happiness.” These are generally attributes people find desirable throughout life’s stages, and prioritizing your friendships allows these good things to manifest in your own life.
Keep in mind that friendship is a two-way street as well. Just as your friends may reach out to you, be sure to do the same. Check in with them by asking how they’re doing, following up on a specific situation in their life or making plans to get together soon. Show them you’re invested in the friendship.
Using technology to chat is great, but try to physically meet up with your friends too. Bonding over shared, in-person experiences is an excellent way to strengthen your relationships, whether it be through having a meal together, going on a walk, listening to live music, or any other activity that brings you both joy.
Most importantly, be present with and attentive to your friends. Practice active listening when they’re opening up to you. Disclose your own personal experiences, and show up when you’ve committed to doing so. All of these things will help create an intimate bond steeped in trust, kindness, respect and reliability.
What not to do
Avoid only checking in with your friends when you’re in need of someone to lean on or vent to in times of need. If you’re only showing up when you need something, your friends will grow weary of your intentions and skeptical of your friendship.
Avoid being unkind or judgmental when a friend is vulnerable and opens up to you. Meet them with empathy and a listening ear. Only give advice on a situation if they explicitly ask for it. Otherwise, simply be present and supportive.
What to say
As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words — but words are extremely meaningful, too. Tell your friends you appreciate their presence in your life. Cheer for them when they meet a goal or mark an achievement. Remind them what a fantastic person they are. All of these things will strengthen your bond while boosting their self-esteem.
Summary
Nourishing your friendships takes conscious effort. Show up for the people in your life by:
— Making yourself available and responding to their communications
— Reaching out to check in with them
— Prioritizing in-person meetups
— Being present, attentive, kind, supportive, and reliable
— Telling them how much you love and appreciate them