How to Perform Small Acts of Kindness
Kindness is something you do, not just feel.
Kindness is something you do, not just feel.
Kindness is a human trait scientifically proven to boost well-being. Kindness isn’t only about providing help to others. It is also a way to provide help to yourself. Thoughtful calls itself “other-centric wellness” because often, by focusing on others, we can improve our own mental and physical health.
Here, we’ll introduce the science of kindness and help you find a path to adding more small acts of kindness to your life.
The science of kindness
Researchers have studied kindness for years and often place kindness under an umbrella called prosocial behavior. In a 2020 meta-analysis of prosocial behavior studies, researchers defined prosocial behavior as “a constellation of voluntary acts that are motivated by a concern for the welfare or benefit of others.” Scientists also divide kind acts into formal and informal. Formal kind actions (helping) include volunteering and donating. Informal kind actions are spontaneous actions—or small acts of kindness—like helping a neighbor or giving someone directions.
According to a 23-country study in Europe, informal helping, like performing small acts of kindness, was associated with high self-reported health. Performing small acts of kindness establishes stronger social connections with others. Helpful people feel more connected and accepted by those they help. And, in some cases, informal helping provides better well-being benefits for givers, like increased happiness and a sense of accomplishment, than formal helping did.
The benefits of kindness are multi-faceted. Studies have shown that practicing kindness can lower stress, improve resiliency and reduce depression.
What to do
Kindness clearly has benefits, but it can be hard to know where to begin when adding more small acts of kindness to your daily life. Relational therapist Kevin Brody says performing more kind actions starts with one question: “What kind of kindness would I like to receive today?” Brody adds, “Checking in with ourselves about our needs can often illuminate how we might show up for others in mutuality and kindness.”
Reflect on how others have shown up for you in the past. What stuck with you? Ask yourself how you can bring that measure of kindness into the world.
Kind actions don’t have to be huge to pack a punch. Asking someone about their day when they seem to be going through a hard time, bringing an extra cookie back from lunch for a friend and sharing a compliment are all small ways to show kindness. Things that may feel small—like being a good listener or spreading positivity—can turn someone’s whole day around.
When someone does something kind for you, note it down. By noticing the acts of kindness you receive you will have a better idea of the kindness that you can give.
What not to do
Kindness only becomes real through action. If you want to perform more small acts of kindness, you need to take action.
Don’t be afraid to ask what someone needs. Don’t let your fear of doing the wrong thing prevent you from doing anything at all. People appreciate kind actions, in all their forms. Your help will be appreciated.
Summary
Kindness isn’t just a feeling, it is a behavior. Only by taking action can you perform more small acts of kindness.
— Reflect on what’s helped you in the past and what help you’d like now
— Note when others do something kind for you so you have an idea of what acts of kindness have done for you.
— Take action — kindness is appreciated in all its forms!