How to Practice Patience
Consciously developing greater patience for the people in our lives and the world around us isn’t as hard as you may think.
Consciously develop greater patience for others.
“Patience is a virtue,” so the maxim goes. As commendable a quality as it may be, patience is not exactly an inherent human trait. Patience takes practice and focused, conscientious effort. And while it may be difficult, developing a practice of patience in your everyday life is a goal worth striving for.
Here, we’ll break down where impatience comes from and what steps you can take to practice patience regularly.
The source of impatience
It’s all too easy to let even the smallest irritations get under our skin — whether it’s waiting for a friend or family member who’s late or being stuck in traffic.
According to the journal FPM, the instant gratification modern technology provides us — from online shopping to apps for food delivery to Google searches and social sharing — makes us prone to greater impatience with the day-to-day world around us. And with the challenges and uncertainties of the past few years, it is no wonder impatience is a common occurrence.
What to do
Awareness of how you’re feeling in the moment — frustration, impatience — is a critical first step in developing and practicing greater patience. By simply noticing these emotions are present, you’ve removed yourself from a reactive loop and are now in a position to take conscious, thoughtful action.
Step one
Start with a few deep breaths — big, belly-filling breaths that take a few seconds to accomplish. Deep breathing tells the nervous system to begin to calm down, which deescalates the body’s stress responses. It’s possible that by the time you’ve taken several deep breaths, whatever caused your impatience will have resolved. Or, at the very least, you’ll have a calmer, clearer frame of mind.
Step two
Stressful, uncertain moments that lead to impatience offer an important learning opportunity for you to work towards more consciously practicing patience. Take a step back from the immediacy of the moment and see your current situation from a bigger-picture point of view:
— Do I have control over the situation? If not, what’s the point of letting it get to you? You don’t have to like the circumstances, but in choosing to remain calm and practice patience, you’re now taking action, rather than being reactive.
— Is there a way I can make better use of this time than focusing on the circumstances? By shifting your focus to what you can control right now — even if it’s as simple as using the time to reply to a message on your phone — you’re redirecting your attention away from the circumstances, taking action and making the most of your time.
What not to do
Don’t give in to impatient feelings that arise. This reactive state of mind keeps you from thinking calmly and clearly, making you more prone to lashing out or saying something that you’ll regret later. Remember, the concerted work, effort and time it takes to repair damage done to relationships is much more difficult than simply practicing patience in the first place.
Summary
A few key takeaways:
— Developing patience takes practice and focused, conscientious effort.
— Take a few deep breaths to calm the nervous system.
— Reflect on your current situation from a bigger-picture point of view and take positive action.
— Avoid letting impatience take over, as that reactive state of mind can lead to saying or doing things that you’ll regret later.