How to Spread Positivity
Turbocharge good vibes and increase positivity for yourself and others
Turbocharge good vibes and increase positivity for yourself and others
Positivity is the practice of optimism. Tied to mindfulness, positivity is not about ignoring the bad, but about staying resilient. Here, we’ll introduce the concept of positivity and detail ways to improve your own outlook on life.
What is positivity?
Yes, optimistic thinking can lead to better health, but blind optimism can cause one to underestimate negative outcomes. Championing "no bad days" ignores reality and is popularly known as "toxic positivity."
Real positivity isn't putting on rose-colored glasses and refusing to take them off. It is a tool used to reframe experiences, move through hard times and improve wellbeing. Positivity acknowledges lived experience.
The PERMA™ theory
Martin E.P. Seligman is a pioneer of "positive psychology," a branch of psychology focused on what allows communities and individuals to flourish. He also created the PERMA™ theory. This model sets up five pillars that allow one to thrive.
— P for Positive Emotion: Positive emotions should be encouraged. Feelings like gratitude can be cultivated via mindfulness practice.
— E for Engagement: Engagement is finding "flow.” You can think of it as “being in the zone” with skills, hobbies and strengths, among others, when facing difficult tasks with a clear goal.
— R for Relationships: Relationships are at the center of wellbeing, allowing us to feel connected and find purpose or joy.
— M for Meaning: Meaning derives from being part of something larger than one’s self, like religion or community organizing.
— A for Accomplishment: Feeling and pursuing accomplishment is important, even if it does not lead to satisfaction.
Internal positivity
Positivity requires both internal and external work. Internal work focuses on cultivating resilience, which allows you to combat negative emotions and have a better grasp of yourself during hard times.
Reframing: Reframing, derived from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), is used to challenge negative thoughts. Imagine your friend flubbed their words during a presentation. Later, they spoke negatively to you about what happened ("I'm so stupid. I shouldn't ever talk."). If they are open to it, help your friend reframe that thought ("You’re not stupid. Everyone makes mistakes. Public speaking is difficult for most people.”). Reframing is a way to acknowledge thought patterns. Reframing allows a person to step outside racing thoughts and consider things from a new angle.
Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a way to pay attention. Mindfulness practices, like meditation, have a variety of health benefits, including increased resilience.
Positive Self-Talk: Give yourself a pep talk! Give your friend a pep talk! Everyone deserves one. Practiced consistently, positive self-talk can improve self-esteem.
External positivity
Spreading positivity begins with you. Yale sociologist and professor Nicholas A. Christakis, MD, Ph.D., MPH's research shows that happiness spreads. If you see a happy friend, you are more likely to be happy and spread that happiness to others.
Here are some examples of easy ways to spread positivity:
1. Love letters: Send your friends, family and those important to you physical letters or emails that let them know how much you care.
2. A joyous jingle: If you’re musically inclined, consider sending a friend a fun 30-second song about how much they mean to you.
3. The random complimentary text: A complimentary text is a short way to remind friends that you care, and to remind yourself that life is filled with those who care for you.
4. An unexpected gift: Sending a friend a gift, small or large, will always make them feel valued.
5. The random photo: Send your friend a picture of what you are doing. It is an easy way to remind someone that you are thinking of them.
6. The classic meme: A funny joke, a hilarious YouTube video, a weird picture of a dog you saw—sending any of these with “saw this and thought of you” will add color to a day.
What not to do
Avoid toxic positivity and listen. Toxic positivity is insisting that someone perform happiness, without any regard for reality. Positivity is about resilience. Resilience is rebounding after a tragic event. You can’t rebound from what you’ve ignored. Avoid empty phrases and cliches. Listen to those around you and respond appropriately.
Do not overemphasize happiness. In a productivity-driven culture, it can be easy to equate positivity with happiness. But this isn't the case. Happiness, like all feelings, is fleeting. Happiness will come and go, but positivity can stay even during hard times. Positivity is about gratitude, not constant dopamine rushes.
Summary
Positivity helps us cultivate gratitude, contentment and resiliency. It is a way to reframe our thoughts and focus outward. It is not constant happiness.
— Don't ignore reality. Positivity acknowledges reality, and allows you to grapple with it.
— Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness techniques, like meditation, encourage long-term resiliency, which is a key to positive thought.
— Engage with your community. Community is one of the key ways we find meaning in life. Connecting with and doing good for those around you gives life meaning, and contributes to day-to-day wellbeing.