How to Stay Resilient
Resilience is a skill you can practice, and social relationships play a strong role in staying resilient.
Resilience is a skill you can practice.
Even when we have the best intentions, it can be challenging to stay connected to the people in our lives. Our world is increasingly complicated, and the motivation to reach out to a friend or loved one isn’t always there. This is where our power to stay resilient is useful. Staying resilient is a skill you can improve, and maintaining strong relationships is part of that skill.
Why it's difficult
We often rely on social connections to help us stay resilient in the face of emotional, political and social turmoil, yet that same turmoil can pick away at our resilience and our motivation to stay connected to others.
Our stress impacts our relationships daily. A study published in the journal Current Opinion in Psychology found that daily job stressors influence family interactions. Social withdrawal can be an effect of job stress, and this can shape family relationships.
Maintaining strong relationships helps you bounce back when you face hardship, but facing hardship can make it more difficult to maintain those same relationships.
What to do
According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”
So how do we stay resilient?
— Form and maintain strong relationships. Schedule weekly coffee dates with a friend or commit to checking in with one friend per week.
— Regularly practice self-care. Carve out time to do things that fill your cup. The more fulfilled you are at baseline, the better you’ll be able to handle setbacks.
— Act on your problems and stressors. Refrain from detaching from your problems. Choose one problem and take the first step toward a resolution.
The above strategies can help you have a more positive outlook and can put you in a position to be resilient when you inevitably face turmoil.
What not to do
Don’t assume that you aren’t resilient. Resilience isn’t an inherent trait but a skill set that you can strengthen.
When things feel difficult, it can be tempting to withdraw socially and stop trying to overcome your challenging experiences. This is where maintaining social relationships is key to staying resilient.
Don’t withdraw and give up; instead, pick up the phone and talk to a friend about your struggles.
What to say
Maintaining strong relationships with others is one of the core tenets of resilience. Talk to your friends and family about why staying connected can help everyone cope better in the face of adversity.
Consider opening up to a family member or friend by saying something like, “I’m feeling really overwhelmed by everything that’s going on in my life. Can we spend some time catching up to help lift my spirits?”
What you say to yourself matters, too. Adopt a mantra such as “I am resilient” or “I will overcome this.”
Summary
Staying resilient means you’re able to adapt to difficult circumstances in your life. To stay resilient in the face of emotional, political and social turmoil, you can:
— Maintain strong relationships
— Practice self-care
— Take action on problems
— Resist the urge to withdraw and give up
The more you connect with others, the more you can build your resilience. The more resilient you are, the more motivated you’ll be to connect with others; it’s a virtuous — rather than vicious — cycle.