How to Take the First Step
Making new friends as an adult may be more difficult, but it's worth it.
Making new friends as an adult may be more difficult, but it's worth it.
Making new friends as an adult can be difficult. Gone are the days when you could approach another kid on the playground, ask them to join you on the seesaw and instantly become best friends. After graduation, people are no longer thrown into situations with their peers that can easily lead to lasting friendships. Major milestones—like moving to a new city, gaining new career opportunities, getting married and having children—can also affect one’s ability to take the first step in connecting with new people. They may lead to feelings of social isolation and cause you to feel like you're "behind" other people who already have established friend groups or embarrassed that you're seeking new friendships.
But everyone deserves friendship, and you're more than capable of establishing new connections with others in adulthood — it just may take a little more work than it did back in the playground days. Taking the first step may feel intimidating, but embracing vulnerability and putting yourself out there is ultimately rewarding.
Why it's worth it
Friendships are actually as important as family ties when it comes to predicting psychological well-being in adults. They can offer emotional support, alleviate loneliness and ward off symptoms of depression. Having more friends has been shown to increase life satisfaction overall, and also act as a buffer against some of the negative effects of aging, including cognitive decline.
Basically, having and maintaining friendships is an important part of life, and although making new friendships can be harder as we get older, they're definitely worth the work.
How to take the first step
When you meet someone whose company you enjoy, the best way to kick off a potential friendship is by learning more about them. Ask questions about their interests, families, work and hobbies. If you find that you have a natural flow of conversation and you enjoy this person's company, thoughts, and insights, you might be heading towards a powerful new friendship.
After you've had a good conversation with this person, it's time to ask them for their contact information. If you're not ready to give out your phone number or email address, ask for their Instagram and start following them. When they post about something you care about, you can send them a message, strike up a conversation and go from there.
Where to meet a new friend
Once you're ready to meet someone new, it's time to put yourself in a position to meet someone with whom you share similar interests. There are several ways to find people you might connect with, and you'd be surprised how many people in your area are also looking to make new friends. Remember that other people have gone through big life changes, too, and are eager to expand their social circle.
Try a meetup
One of the easiest ways to meet a new group of people is through special interest meetups, which you can access through sites like Meetup. These interest groups include sunrise hikes, French language practice and wine and cheese nights, among many others.
Volunteer
Pick up some volunteer hours with a nonprofit organization that's meaningful to you. You’ll also meet people who share similar values. Consider volunteering at an animal shelter, soup kitchen or public park. You'll know for a fact that the other volunteers will be kind-hearted people who choose to spend their time helping their community, which is always a good basis for a friendship.
Join a social club
One great way to meet people you share commonalities with is by joining a social club. Depending on your interest, you could opt for one that focuses on books, movies, dance, sports or many others. Many clubs have specific themes, too, so you could opt for a murder mystery book clubs, indie film clubs, salsa dance groups and kickball leagues, for example. You can find many of these organizations online, or by checking with local message boards, libraries, community centers, independent bookstores, dance studios or your local parks department.
Summary
You can take the first step in making new friends by:
— Exploring a meetup
— Volunteering
— Trying a friendship app
— Joining a club that's relevant to your interests
— Asking to exchange information with someone who piques your interest
Everyone is different, and some may find that one of these strategies is a lot more appealing than others. Choosing the one that feels the easiest and most natural for you is the best choice here. Taking the first step in forming friendships can be a little anxiety-producing since you're putting yourself out there, but ultimately, it's worth the effort and is demonstrably great for your emotional well-being.