I See You

Get a hype man. This is the type of friend that will always cheer you on, that believes in you no matter what, that sees the light at the end of the tunnel and wants you to know it will get better. This is the sort of friend who sees the best in you, even if you don’t see it in yourself. This is the friend that wants you to want more for yourself. They’ll encourage you, support you, push you toward the finish line. They’ll hype the good ideas and the bad, so long as they’re not harmful. They see you for who you are and who you could be. I like to think of them as fortune tellers, pulling beautiful and transformative prophecies about a near-future you that’s difficult to decipher. They know the truth: that you are powerful and capable, so long as you accept a little encouragement on the road to that realization. And if you decide to throw in the towel or take a break from the grind of the modern world or rest and recover, this friend will support you in that decision, too. A “hype man” does not need to be a man, of course, but they do need to have your back. And their support should be nurturing, not reckless. I have a couple of people in my life who fulfill that role for me. One is my sister. Another is my friend Elijah. Years ago, we saw each other regularly at social events or the co-working space they co-owned. Now, they split their time between Chicago and South Africa. At best, I’ll see them once or twice per year. “Are you in love?” Elijah joked the last time I saw them at a birthday party.

They know the truth: that you are powerful and capable, so long as you accept a little encouragement on the road to that realization.

“What do you mean?” I asked. “Like with another person? Or with yourself? Because you’re glowing!” Elijah said. And the comment—unexpected, silly, delightful, kind—stuck with me long after I left the event. I didn’t think I had changed much since the last time we had seen each other, but maybe I had. Wrapped up in the self-doubt of the day-to-day, it is sometimes hard to see ourselves and our progress or joy. Other people—our friends and hype men—have a way of pulling out the richer and truer versions of ourselves that we think don’t exist. And their reminders can inspire us to love ourselves more, or even be the “hype man” in someone else’s life. Who is growing or succeeding? Who is winning in life? Who is glowing? And how can I let them know I see them? I think about this daily now, and make a point of letting the people in my life know. I’m proud of you. I’m excited for you. I see you. I’ll be your hype man.