Social Customs: Business Dinners
How to make a good impression when breaking bread with professional colleagues.
How to make a good impression when breaking bread with professional colleagues.
What we'll cover
Business dinners, like office parties, are somewhere between a social and professional occasion. Depending on the type of business meal, the etiquette can differ.
In this “Social Customs” guide, we’ll give you a brief overview of different types of business meals and what to do at a business dinner. We’ll also cover what not to say, provide reliable conversation topics and give you a quick checklist for reference.
Types of business meals
Professional life can include many types of meals you may have to attend, especially if you have a job which requires travel or if you have a client-facing role. Below is a list of the most common.
• Business breakfast: You are usually only required to dine with colleagues over breakfast if you are traveling for business or if you are training. These are times when you may be asked to the office prior to business hours. A business breakfast is the most casual of business meals. Most are buffets rather than sit-down meals. Don’t sequester yourself with those you know best. Rather, make the most of the opportunity and get to know others.
• Business lunch: Business lunches are very time dependent. As they occur midday, reservations will likely need to be made. Whoever you are dining with will likely need to get back to the office for meetings. The most important thing to remember about a midday meal is to keep your eye on the clock. Business lunches should not surpass two hours.
• Business dinner: Business dinners are usually sit-down affairs and often require a reservation. As they occur after work, they offer you more time outside to get together, with no meetings or deadlines forcing you to cut dinner short. But if you are dining during the work week, you’ll still want to make sure your dining companions can get home and to bed for the next work day.
What to do
With a business dinner, you are given an opportunity to get to know co-workers and clients in a more comfortable environment. Outside of not ordering spaghetti while wearing white, we have outlined some guidelines for you to follow.
• RSVP. If you are invited in advance, be sure to RSVP in a timely manner. Note if you are allowed a plus one, and invite one if you are. If you have dietary restrictions, let the host know.
• Be on time. Business dinners rarely occur in someone’s home, so the common dinner party etiquette of a late arrival does not apply to business dinners. Arrive on time, or even early. An on-time arrival will ensure you don’t lose a reservation at a restaurant.
• Mind your manners. A business dinner is a formal occasion that requires formal manners. Wait until everyone’s food has arrived before eating. Keep your elbows off the table. Chew with your mouth closed.
• Keep the dinner's purpose in mind. Each business dinner has a different purpose. If the purpose is to get to know your boss better, keep shop talk limited. But if you’re dining with a client to discuss next year’s goals, you want to make sure you go over your plan for the year. If you are networking, you will want to share your expertise and some of your career highlights.
• Don't overdo it. Be mindful if you’re ordering alcohol at a business dinner. Keep moderation in mind. Overindulging in alcohol could embarrass yourself and those around you.
• Keep an eye on time. Unlike a dinner with friends, where the object may be to stay together as long as possible, you want to be mindful of time when having a business meal. If you are dining during the work week, wrap up a business dinner at an appropriate hour so everyone can be fully rested for the next day.
• Silence your phone. Whether dining with your own co-workers or an external client, keep your phone on silent during a business dinner. You want your dining companions to know they have your full attention and a pinging phone undermines that impression.
• Don't fight for the check. Dinners with friends can include a playful fight over who is paying, but it would be awkward and uncomfortable to do so at a business dinner. Business dinners usually have a set way of paying the check. If you are dining with a client, your company will usually pick up the check. If you are dining with your boss, your boss will pick up the check.
• Say "thank you." Acknowledge whoever set up the dinner and say thank you. When you get back in the office, follow up with an email or Slack message repeating your thanks.
What not to say
Depending on the purpose of the business dinner, there may be certain subjects you want to avoid. For example, if you are dining with a client, mentioning their competitors will lead you into awkward territory. But regardless of the dinner’s purpose, here are some things you should avoid saying.
“Oh yeah, we were so wasted.”
Why it doesn't work: Even though a business dinner is after hours, it is best to avoid subjects you wouldn’t bring up under the fluorescent lights of the office. Keep conversations to a PG-13 level. Avoid mentions of sex, drunken behavior and other illicit activity.
"We missed the deadline because Denise forgot to email me."
Why it doesn't work: Avoid office gossip at a business dinner. It will reflect poorly on you if you bring up rumors or grievances with other co-workers at a business dinner. Keep the conversation positive. If you are dining with your boss or co-workers, it may be best to avoid work all together and, instead, spend the time getting to know one another.
"It all went downhill for me after the divorce. When Carol left, I never recovered."
Why it doesn't work: UYou may enter a conversation where you are forced to bring up an awkward or tragic event from your past. But it is better to gloss over such topics rather than to linger on them. Avoid dwelling on sad moments or topics where you might indulge in TMI (too much information).
What to say
During an after-hours business dinner, there may be a need to discuss business. But you’ll also want to engage in pleasant conversation, whether dining with your coworkers or with clients. These conversational topics will keep things light and pleasant.
• Industry developments. If you are dining with people in your industry, but not in your company, discussing developments in your particular industry would be appropriate. If there are industry publications that you read, now may be the time to bring up an article you’ve been dying to discuss with other knowledgeable people. If you are dining with a client or at an industry mixer, this kind of conversation can give you a chance to show off your expertise.
• Hobbies. If you are passionate about a hobby that is appropriate to discuss at work, now is the time to bring it up. Hobbies are a good topic of conversation as they give a glimpse of your out-of-office life but typically are work appropriate. If your hobby is not safe for work (like strip aerobics, for example), it may be best to share information about a tamer hobby.
• TV shows and other pop culture. Pop culture is always a good topic for dinner conversation. There is likely a movie you all love or a TV show that many people at dinner watch. Encourage those around you to share their favorite TV shows, movies or musical artists, and engage in conversation about them.
• Sports. If you know sports, they can be a great ice breaker. This is a particularly good conversation topic if there is a large sporting event happening, like March Madness or the Olympics.
The gut check
Business dinners, like holiday parties, are a good opportunity to get to know clients and co-workers in a more casual environment. Remember to keep it professional, mind your manners, be aware of the time and say thank you.
Checklist
✔ RSVP
✔ Arrive on time
✔ Mind your manners
✔ Be mindful of the dinner's purpose
✔ If drinking, keep moderation in mind
✔ Be aware of the time
✔ Silence your phone
✔ Don't fight for the check
✔ Say "thank you" to the organizers