Social Customs: Graduation Parties
Celebrate your loved one’s years of hard work as they enter a new and exciting future.
Celebrate your loved one’s years of hard work as they enter a new and exciting future.
Celebrate your loved one’s years of hard work as they enter a new and exciting future.
What we'll cover
Graduation is an exciting time. Those who have just completed years of schooling can now stand in front of friends and family and be rightfully lauded for their hard work. If you’ve been invited to a graduation party, you likely had an impact on the person graduating. You supported them, you loved them and you helped them along the path of achieving this milestone. Celebrating with them is the icing on the cake.
In this “Social Customs” article, we’ll discuss a brief history of graduation parties. We’ll let you know the customs involved in attending a graduation party along with what not to say to the graduate. Finally, we’ll give you topics you can employ if you’re worried about making conversation.
A brief history
Graduation gowns have their roots in the medieval garb worn by 12th century scholars. And the term “graduation” had its first recorded use in the 1500s. But graduation parties only came about in the 20th century.
Early graduation parties looked different from the ones we have today. Writer Jo Measure, in an article for Montana The Magazine of Western History, recalls backpacking 150 miles into the wilderness alongside classmates and a class advisor.
“We looked forward to the challenge of the future, but were hesitant to break ties with the past,” wrote Measure. This is the fundamental experience of a graduation party: celebrating this moment, before the future intrudes and the past becomes a distant memory.
What to do
Graduations are joyous events. Be sure to keep the celebratory mood going by following these customs when attending a graduation party.
— RSVP. RSVP as soon as you can. Graduation parties are frequently catered, and getting a proper headcount will be necessary to make sure everyone has food.
— Follow the dress code. Although graduations typically require more dressed-up attire, a graduation party can run the gamut from lowkey to fancy. Follow the dress code, if one is provided. If one isn’t provided, the invitation may contain some clues as to the kind of clothing you’ll want to wear. (For example, “Graduation Party BBQ” would mean more dressed down clothing than “Graduation Party Cocktail Hour.”)
— Bring a gift. If you’ve been invited to the graduation party, a gift is necessary. Gifts can be practical or sentimental, and they should help the graduate in their upcoming phase of life. Cash or gift cards are appropriate.
— Be prepared to mingle. Graduation parties—especially for high school—are a time when many different people in a graduate’s life come together. There will be friends, family and other people important to the graduate. Be prepared to mingle and make conversation with this wide variety of people.
— Congratulate the graduate. Be sure to say “congratulations” to your newly graduated loved one. Graduating is an important milestone, and your loved one deserves all the accolades. If you are attending a high school graduation party, it may be appropriate to pass similar messages onto the graduate’s parents or guardians, but save the bulk of your congratulatory messages for the actual graduate.
— Thank the hosts. Be sure to say “thank you” to the hosts for their wonderful party. Give them a compliment on the food, the decor or some other aspect of the party as well.
What not to say
Graduations are exciting. They celebrate the work that was done to graduate and cause one to look forward to a new and exciting future. Be sure to keep the festive atmosphere by avoiding these statements.
"We didn’t think you’d make it!"
Why it doesn't work: If saying this sincerely, it is extremely hurtful. As a joke, it is tired. Either way, your graduating loved one doesn’t want to hear it. Instead, give them a sincere compliment and express your earnest feelings about their accomplishment.
"So, what’s next?"
Why it doesn't work: Graduating is its own accomplishment! Rather than focusing on the future, be present. Tell your loved one that you are proud of what got them to this day and leave any questions about their future for after the party.
"When I was graduating…"
Why it doesn't work: Attending the milestones of our loved ones will, of course, bring our memories of similar events to the fore. However, keep your focus on the graduate and their life instead of pulling focus with your own memories.
"Graduating is no big deal."
Why it doesn't work: Graduation rates—for high school, college and beyond—are all on the rise. But that doesn’t mean that graduations aren’t worth celebrating. Your loved one has done a lot of work to get to this point. Rather than downplaying their accomplishment, celebrate it.
"We’re expecting great things!"
Why it doesn't work: This conversation starter obviously is intended to let your loved one know you believe in them, but it can feel like unwanted expectations. Celebrate the moment your loved one is in—don’t weigh them down with expectations.
What to say
Making conversation at a graduation party can be difficult. There are so many people from so many different parts of your loved one’s life that you’re liable to make conversation with many strangers. These conversation starters, however, will allow you to make pleasant conversation no matter who you’re talking to that day.
— The party. Discussing the party you are at, in a complimentary fashion, is always a good tactic. Everyone has the party in common, so it will be easy to make conversation about this topic.
— The graduate. Now is the time to talk up the graduate. There is no better time to share stories and accomplishments about your loved one. Share what you love best about your graduating loved one.
— Pop culture. This is a catch-all conversational topic, no matter the party. Talk about your favorite TV show, the latest movie or a book that you loved. You may find other fans amongst the party guests.
The gut check
Celebrate the present moment your loved one is in, rather than getting too caught up in the past or the future. RSVP and wear appropriate clothes. Bring a nice gift. Congratulate your loved one. Make fun conversation and thank the hosts for the great shindig.
Checklist
✔ RSVP
✔ Dress appropriately and follow the dress code, if there is one
✔ Bring a gift that helps the graduate in their next phase of life
✔ Be prepared to mingle
✔ Congratulate the graduate
✔ Thank the hosts for the great party