Social Customs: Housewarming Party
Bring the warmth of your personality and well wishes to your friend’s new home.
Bring the warmth of your personality and well wishes to your friend’s new home.
Bring the warmth of your personality and well wishes to your friend’s new home.
What we'll cover
A housewarming is a joyous occasion, a party to mark someone moving into a new home or apartment. Whether renting or owning, housewarmings are a good occasion to mark a new part of one’s life.
In this “Social Customs” guide, we’ll give you a brief overview of housewarming parties, what to do when attending one and what to avoid.
A brief overview
The term “housewarming” first appeared in 1577, used in the same way we use it today. The 1577 entry talks of a “howse warming” thrown by the Shoemakers of London, after the construction of a new hall. More than 400 years later, housewarming fundamentally means the same thing as it did then.
Although the meaning has remained the same, the common practices of a housewarming party have changed. In the 1700s, pineapples were all the rage in hospitality-themed gifts. In the 1946 classic It’s a Wonderful Life, the Baileys give bread, salt and wine as housewarming gifts. “Bread, that this house may never know hunger. Salt, that life may always have flavor. Wine, that joy and prosperity may reign forever,” the Baileys proclaim.
The gifts given and rituals engaged in may change, but the message remains the same: Welcome home!
What to do
Housewarmings are a time to check out your friend’s new digs and celebrate this new chapter in their lives. Follow these tips to be the best housewarming guest you can be.
— Eat beforehand. Housewarming parties usually feature some food, but they’re casual events that may not feature a large meal. If you think you’ll want more than fingerfood, eat in advance.
— Ask before you bring a guest. Don’t assume you have a plus one. Ask the host before you bring an additional guest with you.
— Bring a gift. Housewarming parties are all about bringing “warmth” to a friend’s new home. A small gift is appropriate. A bottle of wine, a plant, a candle or cookbook are all good gifts for a housewarming party. If there is a registry, purchase a gift from that.
— Be friendly. Housewarming parties feature a wide variety of guests, including those who may not be particularly close to you or the host. Your friend’s new neighbors will likely be invited to the housewarming party.
— Compliment their new home. Housewarming is not just about a person, but about a place. Offer your friend a compliment or two on their new home.
— Thank the hosts. Thank your friends before you leave. This is also a good time to give another compliment on their home decor.
What not to say
Housewarmings are casual, more akin to an open house (where guests can come and go) than a more formal event, like a baby shower. But there are still certain topics you should avoid.
“I miss your old place!”
Why it doesn't work: You’re there to celebrate their new home, not bring up recollections of their old place. Focus on where you are, rather than where they used to live.
“It… seems small.”
Why it doesn't work: Whatever criticisms you have of your loved one’s new place, now is not the time to share them. It may be small or far away from where ou live. Now isn’t the time to share those comments or concerns.
“I brought the whole family!”
Why it doesn't work: If your entire family is invited, bring them! But if they aren’t explicitly invited on the invitation, make sure you ask before you bring them or any other potentially unexpected guests.
“No food?”
Why it doesn't work: A housewarming party potentially won’t have food and will likely not have a sit-down dinner component. Don’t come expecting a full spread. And, no matter your complaints about the party, it’d be best not to mention them.
“This would make a great nursery!”
Why it doesn't work: Now isn’t the time to start theorizing about your loved one’s future children. Your loved one may not want a child or may want one but, in the interim, plan to turn their new spare room into an exercise room. Whatever they do with it, that’s their decision and not yours.
“I’d paint this room green/you should move the couch/etc.”
Why it doesn't work: You’re seeing your loved one’s new home in a likely unfinished state. Even though they have moved in, they probably haven’t gotten all the design details together. If they ask you for design help, offer it. But keep unsolicited opinions to yourself. And, in any case, hold onto any suggestions until after the party.
What to say
Housewarming parties bring together people from all parts of your loved one’s life. They have likely invited new neighbors and other folks who may not be part of your loved one’s inner circle. Make pleasant party talk with these conversation starters.
— The new house or apartment. Complimenting the new house is always a good topic of conversation. In many ways, the new house or apartment is the guest of honor and deserves to be discussed.
— The local area. Do you have a favorite bakery in your loved one’s new neighborhood? Have you found a coffee shop with super fast Wi-Fi? Bonding over your loved one’s new neighborhood with the party guests is always appropriate.
— Pop culture. Pop culture, like TV and movies, is always a good go-to topic of conversation. See if you can find a fellow Ghosts watcher or Star Wars fan.
The gut check
Housewarming parties are all about your loved one’s new house. Don’t expect a sit-down dinner. Bring a gift and buy from the registry, if there is one. Compliment your loved one’s new home. Thank the hosts before you leave.
Checklist
✔ Eat in advance
✔ Don’t bring unexpected guests
✔ Bring a gift (from the registry if they have one)
✔ Compliment their new home
✔ Make friendly conversation
✔ Say “thank you” to the host