Social Customs: Transportation
The rules to follow when on a train, plane or bus so you don’t become the latest trending topic.
The rules to follow when on a train, plane or bus so you don’t become the latest trending topic.
The rules to follow when on a train, plane or bus so you don’t become the latest trending topic.
What we'll cover
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 5% of all Americans commuted using public transit in 2019. In large U.S. cities, this number is higher, with 11% of all commuters using some mode of transit. The Bureau of Transportation Statistics said there were 674 million plane passengers in the U.S. in 2021. No matter where you live or how you commute, you likely travel with other people at some point each year.
In this “Social Customs” guide, we’ll give a brief history of planes, trains and buses. We’ll also give you the rules of traveling with other people. Finally, we’ll tell you what not to do when on transportation.
A brief history
Planes:
In the United States, commercial air travel truly began in the late 1920s. Prior to that, planes were limited to the pilot and few passengers. Even as air travel picked up (with 1.2 million air passengers by 1938), air travel was not a preferred way to get from place to place. Planes were uncomfortable and noisy. Plane travel didn’t become the relatively mass-market way to move people until 1955. This was the first year more U.S. citizens traveled by air than train.
Trains:
“Trains” moved by literal horsepower, in one form or another, until steam-powered locomotives were invented in the 1800s. Steam railways originated in the United Kingdom, but the United States quickly took to the concept. The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad, the first railway in the U.S. for commercial transportation of freight and passengers, was launched in 1827.
In the U.S., passenger train travel has been eclipsed by airplanes and automobiles. But, in large urban centers, trains continue to be a fact of daily life, as subways and commuter rails move millions.
What to do
No matter how you travel, traveling any distance means you’ll be in a confined space with many people. To make it pleasant for yourself and your fellow travelers, follow these rules.
— Remember you’re in public. Comedians often joke about the “lawlessness” of the airport for a reason. People often treat public bus terminals, airport lounges and bus depots like their own homes. They shuck off shoes, clip their nails and do all sorts of things better left to your actual home. The first rule of being a good passenger is to remember you’re not at home.
— Be polite. When talking to those working on your transportation of choice or speaking to other passengers, be polite. Travel is stressful for all parties. Keep in mind the stress of the environment, and take care to be kind and courteous.
— Give up your seat to those who need it. If you are physically able to do so and you see an elderly, pregnant or disabled person without a seat, offer up your own. This kind of courteous behavior makes transit nicer for everyone around you.
— Relax. It can be hard not to get frustrated when traveling, but you can’t make people move faster in lines or be quicker at unloading luggage. If you feel yourself getting testy, keep your cool and remind yourself to relax. It is better to be late than to be the person elbowing others out of the way to get to the front of the line.
— Wear headphones. No one wants to listen to your music or favorite TV show. If you are going to watch or listen to something, do so using headphones or earbuds of some kind.
— Keep calls quick. If you need to take a phone call, it may be OK to do so. But no one wants to hear one side of your forty-five minute catch up call with Aunt Minnie. Instead, save those phone calls for home. (Note: To some—especially those outside the United States—taking any type of call on public transportation is considered extremely rude.)
— If you need to eat, be reasonable. For long travel days, it is impossible not to eat in public. In the United States, eating in public is not considered a big deal. But, in confined spaces, it is important to be cognizant of what you are eating. Do not dine on smelly fish or stinky cheeses while using transportation of any kind. (Note: Check local laws about eating on transit before you chow down; in some places eating on public transit is illegal.)
— Try to keep your shoes on. Feet are divisive. If you need to take off your shoes, keep your feet out of sight of other passengers. But, when possible, keep your shoes on. This makes for a less pungent travel experience for those around you.
— Don’t hog the space. Planes usually have assigned seats, but for bus and rail passengers, don’t take more seats than you need. If you are standing and wearing a large backpack, take it off and hold it between your feet. Be aware of the amount of space you are occupying, so you don’t force others to crane out of your way or stand when they could be seated.
— Give room to others. When exiting and entering any kind of transit—be it bus, plane or train—give other passengers room. If you’re on the train, don’t stand in front of the doors as they open unless you plan on getting out. If your fellow passenger needs to get out of the row on the plane, bus or train, stand up and exit so they can do the same. Don’t make people shuffle past you uncomfortably.
— Know where you’re going. No one is expecting you to know every detail of a trip, but it is best to look up travel information before leaving home. If you are on the subway, know your last stop. If you are on the bus, keep your eyes open for when you need to move. If you are traveling by air, know your terminal and gate.
— Don’t stand in the way of others. When traveling, it is important to take note of the flow of foot traffic. No matter how you travel, you will be in a sea of pedestrians at some point. If you need to stop to answer a text or check a map, move out of the flow of foot traffic to do so.
What not to say
You’re very much allowed to talk to fellow passengers while traveling. But there are some topics you should avoid.
"So, what do you think about the election?"
Why it doesn't work: Getting into hot button issues with strangers is generally a no-no. This is especially true when it comes to travel. You’ll be in a small space with this person for an extended period of time. Not to mention, tensions can flare during travel. Keep it light.
"Hey baby. You’re looking good."
Why it doesn't work: What reads as flirting to one person can read as harassment to another. Given the confined and protracted nature of travel, it is important to be especially sensitive to this type of thing while traveling. You don’t want to create a bad atmosphere for your fellow passengers or make anyone uncomfortable.
"Yeah dude, our time last night was #$@!% sick."
Why it doesn't work: When traveling, you’re around strangers. These people may not share the same values, language or ideas as you. Kids and families abound. Keep your language (and topics) in the PG-13 realm.
What to say
If you’re looking to get more comfortable talking to strangers, travel is a great way to get in the habit of speaking to people you don’t know. Long-distance buses and planes are better places for conversation than subways and short-distance rides. If your seatmate is wearing headphones, they likely don’t want to talk. And, even when the conversational ball gets rolling, make sure you’re both participating. You don’t want to accidentally talk someone’s ear off. With those caveats, here are some things you can discuss.
— The trip or past trips. This is an easy, go-to conversation when you’re traveling. Where are you going? Where did you come from? Are you traveling home? Have you been to your destination before? What trips have you taken recently? All of these are safe and easy conversational topics.
— General facts. You don’t know your fellow passengers, so getting an idea of who they are is always a good place to begin. Do they have siblings? Are they married? Where do they live? These are all questions to ask when talking to someone for the first time.
— Things around you. If your fellow passenger was reading a book before they sat down, you could discuss it. If you are on a plane, you can talk about the in-flight entertainment options. If you are on a bus, you can talk about the scenery rolling by the windows.
The gut check
The most important thing to remember when traveling is that you are in public, surrounded by strangers. Be cognizant and respectful of that. Don’t use travel as an excuse to behave badly. Keep your cool, even when tensions rise. Respect the flow of traffic and keep your eyes open so you don’t get in the way of others.
Checklist
✔ Remember you’re in public with strangers
✔ Be polite
✔ Give up your seat for someone in need of it
✔ Keep a level head
✔ Wear headphones
✔ Don’t eat smelly food
✔ Don’t take long phone calls
✔ Keep your shoes on
✔ Don’t hog space
✔ Stand up when others need to exit or enter a row
✔ Know where you’re going
✔ Don’t stand in the way of others