Social Customs: Work Parties
How to avoid off-the-clock embarrassment
How to avoid off-the-clock embarrassment
What we'll cover
Office parties live in a weird no-man’s land between social occasion and professional opportunity. It can be hard to strike the right balance. Knowing the norms can make the entire situation a little less fraught.
In this “Common Customs” guide, we’ll give you a brief overview of office history. We’ll also cover what to do, what not to do and conversational topics to avoid.
A brief history
Office party history is difficult to trace, but we know office parties have taken place since at least the 1800s. First published in 1843, the Charles Dickens classic A Christmas Carol makes reference to a Christmas office party. In the story, a young Ebenezer Scrooge attends a party thrown by his boss, Mr. Fezziwig, in honor of the holiday season.
According to the BBC, the office, as a place, only originated in the 17th century. Prior to that, people worked from home. Throughout the 17th and 18th centuries more and more people began to work out of offices. And by the start of the 20th century, entire academic fields were created to study the organization of office life.
There is no particular start date for office parties, but by the mid-1900s, they were a well-established part of office life. In 1948, Life magazine even ran a spread of photos from a particularly raucous insurance company office holiday party. Currently, CNBC is tracking office parties as a way to mark how many people are returning to the office in the wake of Covid-19. Forty-two percent of companies planned in-person bashes for 2022.
What to do
It is important to keep in mind the “office” part of the term “office party.” Rules vary, depending on the culture of a company, but it is generally advisable to remember you are in a professional space. These are your co-workers and people with whom you work every day, even after the party is over.
• Attend. It can be tempting to skip an office party, but it is important to attend. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you. Even if you have a packed schedule, at least pop in to say hello. If you absolutely cannot attend, send a note along with your RSVP.
• Read the invitation. Just like with any party, it is important to be mindful of the invitation. If there is a request to RSVP, do so. Note if you are allowed a plus one, and only bring one if that is indicated. Check to see if there are any dress code requirements.
• Dress appropriately. The office party is not the place to try out your most daring outfit. Rather, pick something that suits the venue. If you’re attending a large holiday party at a museum, for example, you might wear something more formal than at an after-work mixer at a dive bar. Just keep in mind that no matter the location, you’ll be with your coworkers. Dress in something you don’t mind showing to HR.
• Don’t overdo it. Office parties often feature open bars and ample appetizers. Now is not the time to over-imbibe or hog all the hors d’oeuvres. Keep moderation in mind.
• Be friendly. Office parties are a good opportunity to network. Now is the time to meet people from other departments and introduce yourself to those who you’d not usually have access to, like department heads.
• Keep it short. Don’t monopolize one person’s time for too long. Make friendly and short conversation before moving on. You want to introduce yourself to many people, but you don’t want to overstay your welcome.
• Say “hi” to your boss. It may feel awkward to make conversation with your boss at an office party, but it is important to make a little conversation at least. Make sure to say hello and share pleasantries before you leave.
• Leave before it is over. You don’t want to be the final one on the dance floor. Being the best guest at an office party means staying for an appropriate length of time. When you notice most people are getting up to go, make your own good-byes.
• Say thank you. If you see the organizer at the party, say thank you. When you get back in the office, follow up with an email or message (i.e., Slack, Teams, etc.) with your thanks.
What not to say
Office parties are a good time to get to know co-workers outside of work. Be sure to avoid these topics so you don’t have to steer clear of anyone near the water cooler on Monday.
“Did you hear who is getting fired?”
Why it doesn't work: It can be tempting to try to get the details about office gossip when you’re together with your co-workers. But now is not the time. Rumors are quick to circulate at a party, and you don’t want to get a reputation for starting them.
“So… I sent you an email…”
Why it doesn't work: Office gossip is off the table, but office work is as well. You are technically off-the-clock. Don’t ask people about emails they haven’t followed up on, reports they haven’t turned in or other bits of office business.
“This one time in college, we had a kegger…”
Why it doesn't work: The funny story you share with your friends after work is not necessarily the funny story you should be sharing with your co-workers after work. Don’t share embarrassing tales about yourself or others. It may be a good way to bond, but it isn’t appropriate for the setting.
What to say
An office party is a great time to pull out your conversational skills. Having a list of general topics you can discuss will let conversations flow smoothly and prevent you from getting stuck talking about work.
• Hobbies. What hobbies do your co-workers engage in? Now is the time to find out. Share your own hobbies with them, and ask them about their own.
• Media. What TV show do they love most? What is their favorite book? What’s the last movie they saw? Is there a podcast they can’t stop binging? Asking about a co-worker’s pop culture interests is a good way to get the conversational ball rolling and find common ground without diving too deeply into their personal life.
• Sports. If you know sports, they can be a great way to start a conversation. This is a particularly good conversation topic if there is a large sporting event happening, like March Madness or the Olympics.
Home life. If you don’t know anything about your coworker, this can be a good place to start. Where do they live? Are they married? Do they have kids? You don't want to get into complicated family dynamics, but knowing the basic facts will help you make conversation.
The gut check
The key to an office party is to remember you’re in a professional environment. Attend and keep moderation in mind. Mingle with those you don’t know. Make sure to say “hi” to your boss, and thank the organizers.
Checklist
✔ RSVP
✔ Wear an appropriate outfit
✔ Talk to people you don’t know
✔ Chat with your boss
✔ Stay away from work as a conversational topic
✔ Say “thank you” to the organizers
✔ Leave with everyone else