Social Map: Enthusiast to Organizer
With good humor and a commitment to show up, Enthusiasts and Organizers can make great friends.
With good humor and a commitment to show up, Enthusiasts and Organizers can make great friends.
Enthusiasts are flexible and fun, down for most anything. Organizers, on the other hand, are more rigid. They create a plan and stick to it. Can these two learn to communicate with one another?
In this Enthusiast to Organizer social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Enthusiasts may face in connecting with Organizers, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Enthusiasts and Organizers have very different styles of communicating, ways of looking at the world and means of showing up for their loved ones. But with a little humor and understanding, a relationship between these two Connection Styles can flourish.
Enthusiasts show their love through their words and presence. They approach the world with a risk-taking air that Organizers can sometimes perceive as flakiness. And they don’t mind canceling plans when it suits them, something the Organizer will go out of their way to avoid.
Organizers, on the other hand, show up for their people through action. They like to create (and stick!) to a plan. The Enthusiast’s willingness and ability to change course at any time may create tension with the Organizer.
It is important for Enthusiasts and Organizers to see each other’s differences as strengths, rather than failings. Humor is a tool that can blunt the edges of a message and, if everyone knows it is in good faith, avoids anyone getting defensive. Organizers can tease Enthusiasts about their sometimes scattered approach, and Enthusiasts can tease Organizers about their rigidity. By bringing a little bit of teasing and humor to their relationship, they may be able to smooth over the differences between them.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— Enthusiasts like to try new things. Finding shared interests with the Organizers in their life will be of great benefit to them.
— Enthusiasts are resilient. They can get through the potential prickliness of the Organizer with good humor and not take much offense.
Hurdles
— Enthusiasts will cancel plans when they need to (or when they want to). If Enthusiasts cancel too frequently, Organizers will read them as flaky and potentially not worth the effort.
— Enthusiasts communicate via words; Organizers via actions. Both must learn to understand the other’s communication methods.
What to Do
Show up consistently.
Why it works: Organizers, loyal and reliable, value consistency in their connections. By showing up and committing to plans, Enthusiasts will be able to show the Organizer that they value their relationship. If the Enthusiast can’t show up, for whatever reason, communicate that with honesty to the Organizer. Even though saying something like, “I can’t, I’m too burnt out” may feel vulnerable, the Organizer, with their focus on caring for others, will understand.
Acknowledge your differences.
Why it works: Organizers are more risk-averse than their Enthusiast friends. Enthusiasts, by the same token, can create hurt feelings by letting their loved ones fall off their schedule. By acknowledging and accepting your differences (rather than trying to change your loved one), you’ll save yourself heartache and create a better relationship.
What to Say
“I’ll be there.”
Why it works: Showing up is huge for Organizers. If an Enthusiast says they’ll be there, they need to mean it. And, if you can’t make it, providing a reason rather than just dipping out is always the way to go.
“Thanks for planning our trip./Thanks for buying me this book on gardening./Thanks for checking in about my flight.”
Why it works: Organizers can ask questions and make decisions that confuse an Enthusiast. For example, an Organizer is more likely to ask you what dates you are going on a trip than if you’re excited for it. But, by asking these questions, they’re also able to remind you to bring an umbrella, because it is supposed to rain. This is how they show they care about you. By explicitly acknowledging the love Organizers show, Enthusiasts recognize the different ways to communicate care. This makes Organizers feel appreciated.
Recommendations
“How to Keep in Touch Regularly”: Reaching out and keeping in touch is key to maintaining and deepening relationships.
“How to Navigate Differing Viewpoints”: Even those who care about one another occasionally need to agree to disagree.
“How to Apologize”: Acknowledging your mistakes is another way to strengthen and deepen your relationships.