Social Map: Enthusiast to Seeker
Enthusiasts and Seekers are both lifelong learners, but their different approaches to the emotional side of life can lead to miscommunication.
Enthusiasts and Seekers are both lifelong learners, but their different approaches to the emotional side of life can lead to miscommunication.
Enthusiasts love having all types of friendships, from close friends to distant acquaintanceships. The Seeker looks for deep relationships. How can these two deepen their relationships and better understand one another?
In this Enthusiast to Seeker social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Enthusiasts may face in connecting with Seekers, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Enthusiasts are, as their name implies, excited by the possibilities life has to offer. They are curious, interested and willing to try new things. This search for new understanding is one of the things that can unite Enthusiasts and their Seeker friends.
Seekers, similarly, are on a search for understanding. The basis of that understanding is the major difference between Seekers and Enthusiasts. Seekers often turn inward during their search, digging into the emotional core of themselves and others. Enthusiasts, on the other hand, may turn outward, leaving emotions at a surface level when it suits them.
Enthusiasts and Seekers, with their shared passion for growth, can be great friends. Trouble arises when the two misunderstand or assume one another’s intentions and desires. Enthusiasts may drop communication suddenly, overwhelmed by other aspects of their life. This can confuse Seekers. Enthusiasts, who may compartmentalize their own emotions and relationships when it suits them, can become frustrated with the Seeker’s desire to dig deep to the emotional heart of every situation.
If Enthusiasts can be honest about their emotions, it is likely to smooth over potential problems. Saying “I’m not ready to discuss that right now” or sending a text that says “I’m overwhelmed right now and will reach back in a week” is much better than leaving a Seeker hanging. Be direct about how you are feeling. Seekers will appreciate your honesty and it will deepen your relationship.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— Enthusiasts can interrupt the negative thought patterns of others with their optimism and desire to move forward. This can be especially helpful in relationships with Seekers, who may ruminate on the past.
— Enthusiasts may find new ways of thinking and new revelations about themselves through their connection to Seekers, who encourage emotional depth. They won’t let Enthusiasts get away with avoiding their emotions. They’ll be there to validate and discuss the heavier topics in an Enthusiast’s life.
Hurdles
— Enthusiasts, with busy schedules and a love of the new, may sometimes leave Seekers hanging. To Enthusiasts, this is no big deal, but Seekers may feel abandoned by this behavior or read this pattern as a reflection of their connection.
— Enthusiasts may sometimes feel frustrated by the Seeker’s desire to explore the emotional side of things. When overwhelmed, Enthusiasts may avoid reaching out to Seekers to avoid these heavy emotional discussions. The Enthusiast’s desire to sometimes avoid vulnerability may lead to a disconnect between these two.
What to Do
Be honest. The Seeker can handle it.
Why it works: Seekers are loyal and committed friends. They are able to navigate through conflict. Try to drop avoidant behaviors and be honest, even when that honesty is awkward. For example, if an Enthusiast has a broken heart, instead of avoiding the Seeker, for fear they’ll want to have a deep, emotional discussion, tell them. “I want to hang out, but I do not want to talk about my breakup.” They’ll understand.
What to Say
“I really appreciate how you listen to me. You’re one of my closest friends.”
Why it works: Enthusiasts can show Seekers they care by using their words (a natural Enthusiast strength) to express their appreciation for the depth of their relationship. Seekers are empathetic and kind; they will appreciate the Enthusiast acknowledging how they play a role in the Enthusiast’s life.
Recommendations
“How to Be a Better Listener”: Becoming a better listener requires empathy and active, rather than passive, participation.
“How to Keep in Touch Regularly”: Consistency is key in maintaining and growing relationships of all kinds.
“How to be Vulnerable”: Sharing your deeper emotions is difficult, but it is foundational to a strong relationship.