Social Map: Organizer to Seeker
These very different Connection Styles can come together when they work on something outside of themselves.
These very different Connection Styles can come together when they work on something outside of themselves.
Organizers are practical and reliable. Seekers are expressive and passionate. These two communication styles are prime for conflict and misunderstanding. But how do Organizers and Seekers interact with each other?
In this Organizer to Seeker social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Organizers may face in connection with Seekers, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Can opposites attract? That remains to be seen between the Organizer and the Seeker, for these two Connection Styles are more unalike than similar.
Relationship priorities are the main differences between Organizers and Seekers. While Organizers show their love for others through practical action, Seekers express their love through a commitment to vulnerability and verbal expression. With each other, these two styles are prone to clashing. How can the Organizer understand who the Seeker is if their actions are not clear? How can the Seeker appreciate the Organizer if their feelings are locked up and their choices are confusing?
Seekers may interpret the Organizer’s rigidity as a lack of empathy, while Organizers may think the Seeker’s one-on-one digging as inappropriate. With a lack of understanding, these two may resign themselves to pulling away from rather than leaning into each other.
But all hope is not lost. The Seeker’s willingness to learn more about other people means they’re quite likely to give an Organizer many chances. Learning just a little bit about what makes the Organizer tick is enough to make the Seeker keep going in the relationship. Organizers looking for a place (or, in this case, person) to be vulnerable can rest assured knowing Seekers are a good source of comfort. Embrace the Seeker’s quirks, and you’ll likely discover new or long-buried things about yourself.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— Both Connection Styles want to get things “right.” For the Seeker, this means getting things right emotionally. For the Organizer, this means getting things right logically. These two could make a winning team if their values and interests in a cause outside of themselves are aligned, like helping their community or advocating for social change. Seekers will get to and express the heart of the matter. Organizers will make a plan of action.
Hurdles
— Organizers and Seekers have conflicting styles of communication and expressions of love. Willfully misunderstanding each other can make these two pull apart from each other rather than learn to appreciate each other.
What to Do
Team up where it matters.
Why it works: Organizers and Seekers work best together when their interests are aligned. A shared interest in something outside of themselves (like their community or a political issue) can be the perfect lightning rod for these two to come together and get things done.
Embrace vulnerability.
Why it works: There is no requirement for an Organizer to be vulnerable with other people. But there are always moments in life where allowing ourselves to be vulnerable can help our overall health. The Seeker is the perfect person to connect to for that. Always willing to listen, the Seeker’s unconventional yet reliable interest in growth means they’ll want to hear you and help you.
What to Say
“I thought about what you said about [topic], and I’ve come up with some things we can do together to address it.”
Why it works: Sentences like these acknowledge that you’ve listened to what the Seeker may have said about something that is important to them, while also offering your trademark practicality in how to address them. Seekers, who may think in the theoretical, will appreciate your willingness to put a plan into action.
Recommendations
“How to Recover”: Learn how to apologize or seek forgiveness if you’ve said the wrong thing to another person.
“How to Be a Better Listener”: Becoming a better listener requires empathy and active, rather than passive, participation.
“What to Say: Friendship Conflicts”: Disagreements between friends are common, but knowing what to say can be difficult to discern in the moment.