Social Map: Seeker to Enthusiast
Seekers and Enthusiasts are both lifelong learners, but their different approaches to the emotional side of life can lead to miscommunication.
Seekers and Enthusiasts are both lifelong learners, but their different approaches to the emotional side of life can lead to miscommunication.
Seekers look for deep and abiding relationships with those they love. The Enthusiast chases new friendships and life moments. How can these two deepen their relationships and better understand one another?
In this Seeker to Enthusiast social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Seekers may face in connecting with Enthusiasts, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Seekers are dedicated—to their friends, their loved ones and the world around them. They have a passion for connection. They want to know everything and dive into the emotional core that makes each person unique. This search for connection can unite Seekers and their Enthusiast friends.
Enthusiasts are also searching for new experiences and understanding. But Enthusiasts, unlike Seekers, are less likely to turn inward or force deep conversations. They don’t mind being a jack of all trades, and are more interested in maintaining a variety of friendships, for better or worse.
These two connection patterns, united in their curiosity, can be great friends. Trouble arises when the two misunderstand or assume one another’s intentions and desires. The Seeker may feel frustrated with the Enthusiast’s scattered approach to life. Enthusiasts may drop contact without warning, overwhelmed by something in their own life.
Avoid assuming an Enthusiast’s intentions if they drop off in communication or avoid talking about deeper emotions. If Seekers can accept the Enthusiast’s sometimes-avoidant nature, these two are sure to have fruitful and long-lasting relationships.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— Seekers can encourage Enthusiasts to broaden their emotional understanding and tolerance for uncomfortable moments. Enthusiasts may be avoidant about their own feelings, and Seekers may ask the incisive questions Enthusiasts need to break through and come to a new understanding of themselves and their world.
Hurdles
— Seekers may feel frustrated by the Enthusiast’s scattershot approach towards friendship. Enthusiasts may not notice this disconnect as they often cancel plans due to their own overwhelmed emotions or crowded schedule.
— Seekers may feel frustrated by the Enthusiast’s limits when it comes to discussing emotions. Enthusiasts may avoid more emotional topics, preferring to keep discussions on the surface.
What to Do
Keep being real.
Why it works: Enthusiasts can appreciate and benefit from your unique perspective. Although Enthusiasts may not appear to be taking in your words of wisdom or insightful questions, these moments can lead to a longer-lasting impact for an Enthusiast. Keep being your honest and intelligent self. It is appreciated, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
Don’t take it personally.
Why it works: Enthusiasts aren’t always thinking about the deeper meaning of their actions. They canceled a date last week and canceled one the month before that. It doesn’t mean they aren’t emotionally close to you. Don’t ascribe meaning that isn’t there. If you feel unsure about the state of your relationship, it’s okay to ask, but canceled plans or unanswered texts are more likely a scheduling issue on the Enthusiast’s side than a remark on your friendship.
What to Say
“I loved taking that class with you/that movie you recommended.”
Why it works: Enthusiasts love their interests, and by taking an interest in their hobbies and passions, you show you care. When you loved an activity they suggested or dug a book they mentioned, share that information with them. They’ll appreciate hearing it and feel validated by it.
Recommendations
“How to Stay Resilient”: By separating emotion and action, we can become more resilient and have a greater tolerance for navigating the emotions of others.
“How to Have a Heart-to-Heart Talk”: Heart-to-heart talks are the bedrock of friendship, even with those who sometimes avoid having them.