Social Map: Seeker to Organizer
Shared values, but totally different communication styles mean Seekers and Organizers need to learn to meet in the middle.
Shared values, but totally different communication styles mean Seekers and Organizers need to learn to meet in the middle.
The Seeker is always willing to lend a listening ear. The Organizer uses their practical skills to nourish caring relationships. Can these two learn how one another communicates?
In this Seeker to Organizer social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Seekers may face in connecting with Organizers, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Seekers and Organizers both want to create long-lasting and caring relationships with the people in their lives. But their different personalities and communication styles may lead to clashes in their relationships.
While the Seeker shows they care through their words, the Organizer is more prone to action. For Seekers, discovering the emotional heart of the situation is key, while Organizers are more concerned with the practical side of things.
But both Seekers and Organizers are loyal and conscientious friends, relatives and partners. If they can understand and navigate their potential miscommunication, these two can provide balance to one another.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— Seekers need to remind themselves that Organizers share the same desires. They too want long-lasting and deep-rooted relationships. Both Seekers and Organizers are more interested in the quality of their friendships than the quantity of them.
— Seekers are willing to put work into relationships. Organizers are the same. Neither a Seeker nor an Organizer will walk away from a relationship easily. They will try to work things out.
Hurdles
— Pay attention to how Organizers communicate their care. For example, if you were ill, a Seeker may call you to bust your boredom or drop off a favorite movie. An Organizer, on the other hand, may drop off soup without staying to chat.
— Organizers find value in knowing the nitty-gritty details of a trip, organizing a get-together to the last detail and being “in the know” on every fact and figure. Seekers may feel unsure of themselves when they don’t have the answers Organizers want. On the other hand, the Organizer may feel shamed or judged for not having the emotional vocabulary of the Seeker. Provide understanding to nurture your relationship.
Best Practices
What to Do
Remember your communication differences.
Why it works: Seekers and Organizers communicate in different ways. The Seeker, at home in their emotions, may be more comfortable fully articulating how they feel to others. This may not be true of the Organizer, who shows their love through actions. By remembering your communication differences, you can see the love in the actions they perform. They may have trouble saying, “I care about you,” but a pot of soup when you’re sick can communicate the same message. Keep your eyes open for the nonverbal ways they communicate that they care.
Keep your shared values in mind.
Why it works: It is important for Seekers to keep their shared values with Organizers in mind. Both connection patterns value long-term friendships and relationships. Organizers and Seekers are also willing to work things out, if they don’t want to end the connection. If you remember and strengthen your similarities by acknowledging the values you share and spending time doing things you both value, you’ll be better able to weather the storms of your differences.
What to Say
“Thanks so much for helping me make that reservation/creating that itinerary/etc.”
Why it works: The Organizer wants to be seen, just like anyone else. They care about you and would love to hear that you correctly got their message. By pointing out the ways the Organizer communicates their care, the Seeker both validates the love the Organizer shows and gives them a larger emotional vocabulary to discuss themselves.
Recommendations
“How to Navigate Differing Viewpoints”: You may not always see eye-to-eye, and sometimes even friends need to agree to disagree.
“Love Languages: Acts of Service”: People communicate their love in many verbal and nonverbal ways. Learn the love language Organizers tend to prefer.
“What to Say: Friendship Miscommunication”: A difference in conversational styles, rather than conversational content, can lead to breakdowns in communication.