Social Map: Seeker to Seeker
Seekers may be the most willing to change, but that may not apply to their connections with each other.
Seekers may be the most willing to change, but that may not apply to their connections with each other.
Seekers can be one of the most insightful and authentic personas. But how does one Seeker interact with another Seeker?
In this Seeker to Seeker social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Seekers may face in connection with each other, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
The deeper meaning of life is the fuel for the Seeker. Curious and authentic, Seekers crave conversations, situations and information that gives them a more nuanced understanding of their life and the broader world. This makes for a rich relationship between two Seekers. Attuned to each other’s feelings, Seekers are able to cut through the noise and hone in on what’s important—in their romantic relationships, their friendships and with their chosen family.
However, this deep attunement can sometimes cloud their perceptions of a situation—and each other. Sometimes, Seekers ascribe meaning to a certain situation or person that doesn’t exist (or at least not in the way they may have imagined), creating tension, passive aggressiveness or misunderstanding in a relationship that typically benefits from each person’s abundance of similarities.
Just because a Seeker approaches their connections in a similar way does not mean they have the same habits, interests or narratives about life. Two Seekers can benefit most from approaching their connection with a clean slate. Avoid assumptions and embrace broad-mindedness. Let the other person show you who they are, where they are coming from and what matters most to them. Then, watch the relationship flourish.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— Seekers are attuned to other people’s feelings, especially the feelings of other Seekers. They are great listeners and deeply empathetic with each other.
— Seekers are great listeners, and their interest in “going deeper” in their relationships may open up a Seeker to Seeker connection regarding the nuances and complications of life.
Hurdles
— The Seeker's desire to ascribe meaning to situations due to insecurity may make one assume the worst in the other person.
Some Seekers may struggle with recognizing another Seeker’s individual experience as different from their own.
What to Do
Let the other Seeker lead the conversation about their life.
Why it works: Seekers have advice in abundance. However, that doesn’t mean it is always necessary or relevant. Rather than focusing on the immediate growth you can provide for another Seeker in your life, let your loved one lead the conversation. Sit back, observe and take in what they are telling you. Then, if they ask for your advice, suggest ideas about what has been helpful for you.
Embrace individuality.
Why it works: The rich nature of a Seeker to Seeker relationship runs the risk of devolving into codependency or a cycle of negative thought patterns. Let other Seekers be who they are and do what they want, even if it clashes with your ideas of what those things should be.
What to Say
“I just want you to know that I hear you. I see you.”
Why it works: Sentences like these acknowledge what another Seeker has said, while leaning in to their innate empathy. Seekers, perhaps more than any other Connection Style, want their feelings and experiences to be recognized. Validating another Seeker’s life experience and beliefs, even if they differ from your own, is a great way to let your loved one know you care.
Recommendations
“How to Recover”: Learn how to apologize or seek forgiveness if you’ve said the wrong thing to another person.
“How to Be a Better Listener”: Becoming a better listener requires empathy and active, rather than passive, participation.
“What to Say: Friendship Conflicts”: Disagreements between friends are common, but knowing what to say can be difficult to discern in the moment.