Social Map: Seeker to Truth Teller
Both Seekers and Truth Tellers strive to live authentic lives, even if their messages differ.
Both Seekers and Truth Tellers strive to live authentic lives, even if their messages differ.
The Seeker wants to reflect on the emotions of a situation. The Truth Teller wants to cut right to the heart of the issue. How can these two Connection Styles deepen their relationship? And what hurdles may they need to overcome?
In this Seeker to Truth Teller social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Seekers may face in connecting with Truth Tellers, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Seekers are all about authenticity. They want deep and real relationships with those around them. Truth Tellers, similarly, are dedicated to honesty—with themselves and in their relationships with others. These similar desires and values can make Seekers and Truth Tellers great friends and partners.
Their shared desire for authenticity is something that can unite them, if they can learn to speak one another’s language. Sometimes, Truth Tellers are too blunt. Here, Seekers can be of benefit by helping Truth Tellers lean into their empathetic side. On the flip side, Seekers may get caught up in the past or trapped in cycles of negative thinking (“If I had only…”). Truth Tellers, with their clear-eyed practicality, will help Seekers escape those cycles. They are both perceptive about different aspects of human relationships.
However, clashes may occur between these two. The Seeker’s tendency to embrace emotional vulnerability may make them feel hurt by the Truth Teller’s no-nonsense advice. And Truth Tellers may be unable to see things from a different perspective. Trust is key, and if they build it with one another, their relationship is sure to thrive.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— The Seeker’s natural empathy can help balance out the less empathetic language of the Truth Teller. Seekers may soften some of the Truth Teller’s harder edges.
— A Seeker can feel secure in their relationships with Truth Tellers. Truth Tellers will always let Seekers know where they stand. And Seekers can offer a similar sense of safety for Truth Tellers, acting as a non-judgmental ear to help the Truth Teller sort through their emotions before taking action.
Hurdles
— The Seeker may feel hurt by the Truth Teller’s blunt delivery. And the Truth Teller may feel annoyed at the Seeker’s potential fragility. Both will need to learn to speak one another’s specific “language.”
— Seekers and Truth Tellers may both be defensive when they feel threatened. If Seekers and Truth Tellers can’t put their defensiveness aside to hear what the other is saying, they won’t be able to maintain their relationship.
What to Do
Listen to the content, not the delivery.
Why it works: Seekers need to tune into what the Truth Teller is saying and ignore the packaging. Truth Tellers are honest, but don’t always temper their message to their listener (unlike the Seeker). Seekers should listen to the message behind potentially sharp words and consider why it is valuable.
Be a non-judgmental ear.
Why it works: Truth Tellers can be secretly fragile. They may feel defensive, and their honesty can function both as a weapon and a shield for their softer emotions. By being a non-judgmental listener, Seekers can offer Truth Tellers a place to sort out their emotions and, potentially, soften their message.
What to Say
“Absolutely. I understand. Have you considered…?”
Why it works: The Seeker can validate what the Truth Teller is saying and suggest alternate ways to say it. By letting the Truth Teller know you agree, you cut down on their potential defensiveness. Seekers can also offer new ways of speaking and new ways to get their message across.
Recommendations
“How to Be a Better Listener”: Becoming a better listener requires empathy and active, rather than passive, participation.
“How to Stay Present”: Being in the moment can help increase resiliency and make one better able to weather emotional storms.