Social Map: Truth Teller to Seeker
While their communication styles may differ, these two value authenticity in their approach to life.
While their communication styles may differ, these two value authenticity in their approach to life.
Truth Tellers and Seekers may appear different on the surface, but their belief in authentic relationships makes for a united pairing. How should Truth Tellers and Seekers navigate their similarities and differences?
In this Truth Teller to Seeker social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Truth Tellers may face in connection with Seekers, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Authenticity is key for these Connection Styles. Both Truth Tellers and Seekers strive for the authentic with their interactions with other people and with each other. But their love of what’s “real” can manifest in diverging ways.
While the Seeker is looking to explore authenticity through empathy, the Truth Teller values it through honesty. While Seekers may call you in, Truth Tellers have no problem calling you out. These two styles of communications may lead to conflict.
But that doesn’t mean hope is lost. Truth Tellers can benefit from acknowledging these similarities and leaning into them rather than dwelling on their different styles. Closing the gap may seem difficult, but the Truth Teller and the Seeker’s similar values in life and in their relationships mean they can meet in the middle. Those who truly work on the relationship may even draw inspiration from each other.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— Truth Tellers and Seekers often hold similar values in life, appreciating authenticity over most anything else.
— When operating with a healthy dynamic, Truth Tellers and Seekers can create a deep and lasting bond where each Connection Style learns from the other.
Hurdles
— The Truth Teller’s sometimes-abrasive way of communicating their thoughts may feel harsh to the Seeker, who might lace their conversations with empathy or passive aggressiveness.
— A lack of empathy on the part of the Truth Teller may clash with the Seeker, who tries to lead with deep understanding of others.
What to Do
Be mindful of when and how you use your words.
Why it works: Seekers will value the Truth Teller’s belief in authenticity in their relationships, as it mimics their own. But the Truth Teller’s blunt communication style may hurt or offend a Seeker, particularly if it is directed toward that particular Seeker. Consider when, where and how you use your words when communicating with a Seeker. That doesn’t mean you need to hold everything back, but there are often better ways to say what you mean.
What to Say
“I’m having trouble understanding that. Can you explain to me where you’re coming from?”
Why it works: Rather than jumping immediately into judgment, a statement and question like this allows the Seeker to explain their point of view. Seekers enjoy going deeper in all areas of life, meaning they’ll likely have no problem explaining themselves to Truth Tellers.
“Are you looking for advice, or simply a listening ear?”
Why it works: Part of having a healthy connection with other people is understanding what they need and when they need it. A question like this sets the expectations for the conversation between a Truth Teller and a Seeker.
Recommendations
“How to Recover”: Learn how to apologize or seek forgiveness if you’ve said the wrong thing to another person.
“How to Be a Better Listener”: Becoming a better listener requires empathy and active, rather than passive, participation.
“What to Say: Friendship Conflicts”: Disagreements between friends are common, but knowing what to say can be difficult to discern in the moment.