Social Map: Cultivator to Enthusiast
Cultivators and Enthusiasts make for the ultimate “opposites attract” connection.
Cultivators and Enthusiasts make for the ultimate “opposites attract” connection.
While Cultivators may prefer a smaller social circle, Enthusiasts enjoy maintaining an abundance of friendships and acquaintances. How can these two Connection Styles navigate their different styles?
In this Cultivator to Enthusiast social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Cultivators may face in connection with Enthusiasts, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Although Cultivators and Enthusiasts may seem different on the surface, both are interested in nurturing the best out of their relationship with each other. For Cultivators, this means being a good listener and tending to the day-to-day needs of a relationship. In contrast, for the Enthusiast, this means drawing someone out of their shell and encouraging them to try new things.
These two diverging styles may clash on the surface. Enthusiasts who have trouble sticking to boundaries may find the Cultivator’s difficulty opening up frustrating. And Cultivators, who prefer one-on-one time, may not appreciate the Enthusiast’s openness to strangers and friends alike.
Yet, despite these differences, there are similarities and strengths between these two Connection Styles. Both are comfortable with distance in their relationships, coming back to each other when the time is right and not sweating it when an overactive Enthusiast or a retreating Cultivator need time away. And both may find common ground and an ability to bond through humor. Simple teasing from an Enthusiast won’t ruffle the feathers of a Cultivator.
In the end, the right situation and context (with exposure over time) can make this unlikely connection a reality. When these two are able to see and appreciate each other—flaws and all—they’ll find forming a strong bond a worthwhile experience.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— When Cultivators and Enthusiasts truly see each other, their bond can serve as a healthy balancing act between extroverted and introverted temperaments.
— Cultivators and Enthusiasts can encourage the other to do things outside of their norm, whether this means putting yourself out there for the Cultivator or taking a step back for the Enthusiast.
Hurdles
— The active social life of the Enthusiast may conflict with the quieter spirit of the Cultivator. These two approach life dissimilarly, and an unwillingness to learn how the other operates can make for a fraught connection.
What to Do
Take a risk.
Why it works: Even if it’s just a small one, doing something outside of the norm as a Cultivator may be a perfect opportunity to discover a new interest or meet a new friend who can provide value in your life. But establish boundaries for when, where and how much works for you.
Hear them out.
Why it works: Connections with people dissimilar to ourselves can only work when we learn to see and embrace people for who they are, rather than try to change them. Maybe there is a good reason why an Enthusiast wants to introduce you to someone new or invite you to an unusual event. Weigh the pros and cons internally and then make a judgment instead of outright dismissing something before you’ve experienced it.
What to Say
“That’s a little too much for me right now. What about [alternative activity]?”
Why it works: Don’t be afraid to express how you feel. This may be uncomfortable initially, as Cultivators tend to avoid conflict, but the Enthusiast’s ability to accept a variety of people, experiences and situations means they’ll likely not feel offended when you establish boundaries for yourself.
“You’ve been busy lately. Are you getting time to rest?”
Why it works: Cultivators are the perfect companion to help Enthusiasts see the benefit of taking a step back. Let the Enthusiasts in your life know you are there for them if (and when) they need encouragement to decompress.
Recommendations
“Love Languages: Quality Time”: When you want to show someone you care, how you show it can make all the difference.
“How to Keep in Touch Regularly”: Maintaining friendships as an adult is no easy feat, and it’s not just you facing these issues.
“How to Have a Heart-to-Heart Talk”: Difficult conversations can be nerve-wracking, but we’ve got some tips.