Social Map: Cultivator to Truth Teller
Different? Absolutely. Incompatible? Definitely not.
Different? Absolutely. Incompatible? Definitely not.
Despite their different communication styles, both Cultivators and Truth Tellers are loyal and dependable. Are there other ways these two Connection Styles can relate to each other?
In this Cultivator to Truth Teller social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Cultivators may face in connection with Truth Tellers, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
These two click because they are able to see and accept each other. Cultivators may seem more reserved, with a tendency to hold in their feelings about themselves, yet they are one of the few connection patterns that will openly and easily embrace the occasional abrasiveness of the Truth Teller. Cultivators, who tend to pour into other people, are able to understand and even appreciate the radical honesty of the Truth Teller.
Truth Tellers, who tend to value authenticity in their connections with other people, can also appreciate the Cultivator’s self-assuredness. The Cultivator may not be the immediate life of the party, but they know what they like, who they like and who they are. Truth Tellers can feel confident knowing a connection with a Cultivator is built on trust in the other person. Cultivators truly choose their people, and they’ll never choose someone just to choose someone. Casual relationships and acquaintances are not of interest for both Cultivators and Truth Tellers.
But smooth sailing isn’t a guarantee between these two. Challenges will most likely arise due to each connection pattern’s set boundaries. While Cultivators tend to establish boundaries internally (and not express them), Truth Tellers will express their boundaries externally—and to all who’ll listen. It will be important for Cultivators to push past their hesitation to express themselves and speak up when something doesn’t align with their boundaries. Truth Tellers are able to “take it” and, ultimately, appreciate it.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— Cultivators and Truth Tellers truly choose their people. If each connection pattern has chosen each other, they’ll be all in, despite their faults.
— Authenticity is important for both Cultivators and Truth Tellers. The radical honesty of the Truth Teller is a perfect match for the self-assuredness of the Cultivator. The connection between these two patterns is sure to be built on trust, loyalty and reliability.
Hurdles
— While Truth Tellers and Cultivators both maintain boundaries, they may express them in different ways. It’s important for Cultivators to embrace the frankness of the Truth Teller and express their personal boundaries (and any past or potential violations of them). Truth Tellers can and will appreciate it.
What to Do
Discuss conflicts as they arise.
Why it works: Both the Truth Teller and the Cultivator may have trouble expressing just how they feel, particularly as it relates to their own feelings. But the Truth Teller’s belief in honesty means a Cultivator can rest assured knowing their words will be understood and appreciated. A Truth Teller will always prefer addressing conflict head-on rather than letting it fester. And they’ll want to work with you in finding a solution that addresses everyone’s needs.
What to Say
“I don’t always talk about this, but it’s important for me to share how I feel with you.”
Why it works: If you’ve always felt uncomfortable with the spotlight on yourself, you can rest assured knowing this is one of the few relationships that will value your feelings. Tell a Truth Teller how you feel, both about your personal interests and also about any potential conflict or tension. They will embrace what you have to say. And because you are a part of their life, the Truth Teller will want to make changes to make your connection stronger and better.
Recommendations
“How to Have a Heart-to-Heart Talk”: Difficult conversations can be nerve-wracking, but they’re important in any relationship.
“How to be Vulunerable”: Being vulnerable is the ability to be authentic with others, even when the outcome is not positive.
“What to Say: Friendship Conflicts”: Disagreements between friends are common, but knowing what to say can be difficult to discern in the moment.