Social Map: Enthusiast to Cultivator
A different approach to their social lives doesn’t mean these two can’t form a lasting connection.
A different approach to their social lives doesn’t mean these two can’t form a lasting connection.
Enthusiasts and Cultivators have different approaches to their social lives, with the former preferring an abundance of friends and the latter sticking to their chosen family. How can they navigate their divergent styles?
In this Enthusiast to Cultivator social map, we’ll highlight the strengths and hurdles Enthusiasts may face in connection with Cultivators, as well as best practices for conversations and interactions.
Summary
Enthusiasts value the new things in life, whether they be people, experiences or interests. For Cultivators, this passion can be a good thing. Cultivators, in theory, see the value in exploring new things, but they may freeze up on the day of action. In connection with an Enthusiast, a Cultivator will always have opportunities to get out of their shell and experiment.
Enthusiasts can also gently nudge Cultivators out of patterns of over-analyzing. But Enthusiasts should be mindful of the thin line between encouragement and judgment. The health of this connection lies in an understanding of each pattern’s different approach to social activities. While an Enthusiast may feel a sense of guilt for not being everywhere for everyone, a Cultivator is much more willing to close ranks on who they spend time with and how much they spend time with them.
Don’t be afraid of or resistant to this if (and when) this arises. Enthusiasts and Cultivators thrive when acknowledging and embracing the extrovert-introvert dynamic of their connection. Respect each other’s space and interests while providing forgiving encouragement.
Strengths and Hurdles
Strengths
— In a healthy Enthusiast and Cultivator connection, these two will encourage the other to do things outside of their norm, whether this means putting yourself out there for the Cultivator or taking a step back for the Enthusiast.
Hurdles
— The Enthusiast’s gentle nudging can turn into judgment without a mindful eye. It will be important for Enthusiasts to remember that Cultivators are their own people with their own interests and willingness to participate in activities.
What to Do
Provide kind support and encouragement.
Why it works: There is nothing wrong with the Cultivator’s choice to keep a smaller social circle. However, some Cultivators may turn their desire to close ranks into an unwillingness to try new things or meet new people. If there is an activity or a person you think the Cultivator would benefit from, don’t be afraid to introduce them to it (albeit in a manner that doesn’t just thrust them into uncomfortable situations).
Embrace individuality.
Why it works: The Enthusiast and the Cultivator relationship works best when each Connection Style recognizes and embraces how the other person is different. By seeing yourselves as a complementary rather than incompatible connection, you’ll be much more likely to find harmony day-to-day.
What to Say
“My friend [Name] also loves dancing/anime/etc. The three of us should hang out together.”
Why it works: While Cultivators may have an interest in meeting new people or doing new things, they may not always push themselves to do so. Enthusiasts, who tend to have an abundant social circle, can encourage the Cultivators in their life to meet new people. By setting up a time for socialization and doing so in a way that isn’t overwhelming (keeping the hangout to just a few people), Enthusiasts can provide a positive and motivating environment for Cultivators.
Recommendations
“How to Be a Better Listener”: Becoming a better listener requires empathy and active, rather than passive, participation.
“What to Say: Apologies”: Apologies bring two people, who may have fallen off the same page, back in sync and set expectations for the future.
“Love Languages: Quality Time”: When you want to show someone you care, how you show it can make all the difference.