What to Say: Ableism
Ableism can be blatant or subtle, and you might use ableist language without realizing it.
Ableism can be blatant or subtle, and you might use ableist language without realizing it.
Nathaniel Glanzman
Reviewer URLAbleism can be blatant or subtle, and you might use ableist language without realizing it.
What we'll cover
According to the World Health Organization, 16% of the world’s population (about 1.3 billion people) “experience significant disability.” It is important to understand how everyday language, from colloquial phrases to stigmatizing tropes, can encourage ableism.
In this “What to Say” guide, we will define ableism, discuss what not to say if a loved one has experienced an act of ableism, how to support them and how to recover if you’ve said something to hurt them.
What it is
Note: For the purpose of this “What to Say” guide, we have chosen to use person-first language based on guidelines from the National Center on Disability and Journalism and the Associated Press. It notes, “in describing groups of people, or when individual preferences cannot be determined, use person-first language.”
According to the Center for Disability Rights, ableism is defined as “a set of beliefs or practices that devalue and discriminate against people with physical, intellectual, or psychiatric disabilities.” This form of discrimination may take many forms, from insinuating comments to overt hostility.
In 1990, Congress passed the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). The goal of this legislation is to provide equal rights and opportunities for individuals with disabilities. When it comes to civil rights, the ADA provides the same coverage against discrimination as factors like race, color, sex, national origin, age and religion.
Discrimination towards people with disabilities can derive from both subconscious and conscious places. For example, the media still depicts people with disabilities as either heroes or victims rather than ordinary people whose lives may or may not have taken unexpected turns. An essential step in avoiding ableism is having genuine conversations with people with disabilities and realizing that, at their core, they are just like everyone else.
Ableism goes beyond words and behavior. Ableist speech hurts and angers people with disabilities, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Ableism is a pursuit of perfection and a pervasive way of thinking about being human and the body. It reinforces a belief that people with disabilities are flawed and burdensome. A person's value and quality of life should not be judged by the fact that they have a disability. Actively opposing ableism is something that everyone may do.
Statistics about ableism
One in four adults (61 million) in the U.S. live with a disability. According to a study by nonprofit think tank COQUAL, 62% of them have invisible conditions like chronic pain or phobias.
The same study found a third of people with disabilities have encountered negative workplace prejudice. Additionally, only 39% of respondents disclosed the discrimination they faced to their managers and 24% disclosed it to their teams. The research also revealed that nearly half of disabled employees with ideas do not receive endorsement of them. On the other hand, at anti-ableist workplaces, employees are less likely to feel like their ideas aren't being heard, to face bias at work or to feel like their careers aren't moving forward.
Since 2008, when the ADA Amendments Act (ADAAA) was passed, the EEOC has received an increase in disability discrimination. From 1992-2011, 23.4% of EEOC claims were dismissed with merit in favor of the claimant, while 76.6% were closed without merit in favor of the employer.
Forms of ableism
Incidents of disability-related stigma may manifest in many forms, such as microaggressions (subtle, derogatory statements about disabilities) and infantilizing (treating persons with disabilities in a manner that makes them believe they are unable to do something or incompetent). Negative language hurts, and happy euphemisms can be condescending. Some people are dismissed as mistaken and unfortunate. Condescension treats people with disabilities like children. Sentimentalism about disability emphasizes tragedy and loss over resilience and success.
Anxiety in casual social interactions is another hallmark of ableism. The belief of some researchers is that “it is society which disables…impaired people.” This is because ingrained social and cultural conventions shape our perspectives.
Ableist attitudes
The ADA makes several observations on people's hierarchical disability attitudes. Temporary impairments are viewed more favorably than permanent ones, leading to discrimination and unfair treatment. Seeing someone with mobility issues, bodily function loss, or missing body parts may evoke morbid thoughts in people without disabilities. Disability hierarchies aren't humane (i.e., considering some impairments more acceptable or favorable than others). These beliefs and views are perpetuated by culture and media which shape many people's perceptions of disability.
An ableist society is one in which people without disabilities are held up as the standard, leading to accommodations (in both public and private spaces), policies (in the realms of education and social services), and technologies (in the form of aids and technologies) that are designed to exclude those with disabilities. When people with disabilities are regarded as less than human, it is because of ableist attitudes, and this treatment may create barriers to participate in society and enjoy one’s life.
What not to say
Ableism is present in our language, and many ordinary phrases or words promote damaging prejudices. Watch out for using phrases like the ones below.
"Are you off your meds?"
Why it doesn’t work: You should avoid making statements that imply someone is inferior or that disability is something that needs to be corrected. This kind of passive-aggressive microaggression, even if unintentional, can be hurtful to someone with a mental health disorder.
"But, you look normal."
Why it doesn't work: There are a wide variety of disabilities that are not readily apparent on the outside, such as social anxiety, ADHD, chronic pain, insomnia, and fatigue, among others. Making a comment like this promotes ableism and the idea that there is a normal way to be and look; it insinuates abnormality. It also sees disability before seeing a person as a unique individual.
"It’s not your fault you’re handicapped."
Why it doesn't work: "Handicapped" is a term now associated with negative ideas about the ability for people with disabilities to participate fully in everyday activities. It reaffirms the notion that they should be pitied rather than seen as humans who may need alternative accommodations.
"But you’re so intelligent. I wouldn’t think you were [a mental illness]."
Why it doesn't work: The fact that a person with autism, for example, can retain their total intellectual capacity says nothing about the severity of the disability, which may be causing significant problems in other areas of their life. Also, you don’t want to compare people with different disabilities (mental illness vs. intellectually disabled).
"We all have some kind of disability."
Why it doesn't work: To downplay a person's impairment by saying it's more common and "normal" than it seems may work as an attempt to avoid the societal stigma of disability. Some find it beneficial to smooth out and dismantle the idea of "disability" this way. If disability was just another type of human frailty, then it follows that everyone has flaws. However, disability is more than simply another aspect of a person's identity; it plays a significant role in their day-to-day experiences.
"Your disability does not define you."
Why it doesn't work: Although this statement is commonly used by people without disabilities to comfort people with disabilities, it also dismisses their experiences. Many people feel their disabilities can not and should not be detached from who they are.
Nothing.
Why it doesn't work: Finding the right words can be difficult for anyone, but that doesn't mean you should neglect to say anything to your friend or loved one. During especially difficult situations, your loved one will appreciate any kind or reflective words you can offer during their time of need. Saying something—with intention and thoughtfulness—is better than saying nothing.
Instead of avoiding a conversation in a fraught moment, try a phrase like, "I can't begin to know what you are going through, but I am here for you." If the moment is more lighthearted or celebratory, a simple, "I am so happy for you right now!" goes a long way.
What to say
The media's portrayal of people with disabilities as pitiable or inspiring, rather than common and normal, reinforces ableist language, usually subconsciously. If we ignore a person’s potential, ableism will persist.
As a rule, neutral language that doesn't connote pity or weakness and isn't emotional will guide you to the right words. However, Dr. James “Jim” Cherney, associate professor of communications studies at the University of Nevada, Reno, says when avoiding ableist terminology, finding the right words rests on using the terms that the person being addressed prefers.
Note: These conversation starters are just suggestions. Each individual’s experience will vary and users should measure their words based on what they know and do not know about their loved one.
"I can’t imagine what it’s like, but I am here to support you in your journey."
Why it works: Validating and believing your loved one’s needs, feelings, concerns, and wants can help them feel less alone and misunderstood. Remember that they may have an invisible illness with stigma and misconceptions.
"I’m thinking of you."
Why it works: Most people living with a disability will have days that are more challenging than others. The best way to learn what helps a person with a disability is to ask them. Keep in mind what makes them comfortable. If they need space, offer it to them. Knowing they have your love and support when they need it may be a great comfort.
How to recover
Even the best communicator can use ableist words and phrases and mean no harm by them. The best thing you can do if you need to recover from using this language is to apologize to your loved one immediately. Then, follow up and ask what terms your loved one would like you to use instead.
Other suggestions
Educate yourself rather than relying on others. Try looking for texts, films, and audio recordings from authors with disabilities and activists like Alison Kafer, Mel Chen and Stuart Murray, to name a few. Learn more about the dynamics of discrimination and ableism with the help of these resources compiled by Stanford University. Doing so will aid in your ability to identify ableism in real life, whether it be your own or someone else's.
You can also support your loved one with a disability by volunteering to accompany them to doctor appointments, preparing meals with them occasionally, or donating to a charity associated with their impairment. The main goal is to show your loved ones they are not alone.