What to Say: Rehab
Entering rehab may be an important step in a lifelong recovery journey.
Entering rehab may be an important step in a lifelong recovery journey.
Renee Harleston
Reviewer URLEntering rehab may be an important step in a lifelong recovery journey.
What we'll cover
Several challenges make rehab for addiction difficult. Offering encouragement and support may ensure your loved one makes the most of their time in rehab.
In this “What to Say” guide, we’ll look at things you should avoid saying to your friend or loved one as they navigate rehab and what comments you can make to keep them motivated to continue treatment. We’ll also provide a strategy for if you say something wrong and need to recover.
What it is
Rehab is a process of rehabilitation or treatment for addiction to (but not exclusively) drugs or alcohol. Addiction is a chronic mental health disorder with many adverse effects on a person’s brain function, behavior and physical health, but it is treatable, despite its complexity. There are many different types of rehab, including inpatient, outpatient and residential programs.
People entering rehab may feel a range of emotions as they begin their journey through recovery. They may be scared, nervous or even excited to start this new chapter in their life. One's first experience in rehab may not be their last. Returning to use is common in addiction recovery, and it is vital to provide understanding if your friend or loved one has a recurrence after leaving rehab.
The spectrum of disorders
There is a broad spectrum of severity, duration and complexity among substance-use disorders (SUDs). Persons with mild to moderate substance-use disorders (addiction) may respond well to standard medical system care. Rehab is an effective treatment for more severe manifestations, particularly if the individual also suffers from a dual diagnosis such as depression, anxiety, PTSD or bipolar disorder.
When someone has a chronic issue with alcohol, they may be suffering from alcohol use disorder (AUD) or alcoholism, which is a severe health condition. Numerous variables, both genetic and environmental, might contribute to its development. Medication, behavioral therapy and other forms of support are often used in the rehab treatment of AUD.
Effectiveness of rehab
Rehab centers often incorporate behavioral therapies into their treatment plans for addiction. These interventions have been shown to improve patient adherence to medication and other treatment modalities to foster positive behavioral changes in substance-related attitudes and behaviors. Medication, particularly cognitive-behavioral treatments, is typically an integral aspect of rehab. Treatment may be either voluntary or mandatory, but rehabilitation does not have to be voluntary to be successful.
Outpatient treatment includes pharmacological and behavioral therapies for individuals and groups. These services are available before and after business hours, nights and weekends. Inpatient rehab addresses medical and mental health issues. Medically supervised detoxification (detox) is an indispensable component of inpatient rehabilitation.
Residential rehab programs offer structure, medical care and safe housing. In a residential treatment center, people may be exposed to many therapeutic treatments designed to keep them off substances and out of legal trouble.
What not to say
The stigma around addiction prevents many people from seeking treatment, but you can help reinforce your loved one's decision to get help with acceptance and non-judgemental attitudes in your conversations. Avoiding these statements and questions can likely keep them from feeling weak, embarrassed or unsupported.
"I'm sorry."
Why it doesn't work: Addiction is difficult to overcome, but it's important to remember that every journey starts with a single step. If your loved one has recently entered rehab, they are already on the path to recovery. In therapy, while in rehab, they will learn how to cope with and forgive their past mistakes. What they need most right now is your support, not your pity.
"I can relate to what you're going through."
Why it doesn't work: It's important not to assume that you know what someone else is going through because you have gone through the same thing. Regarding recovery, it's crucial to be supportive without making assumptions. If you're supporting somebody through their rehab process, offer reassurance and tell them that you'll be there for them every step.
“How much more treatment do you need before you’re cured?”
Why it doesn't work: The intricacies of addiction, the uniqueness of each person's path to recovery, and the need for continuous support are all factors that contribute to the answer. Instead of expecting your loved one to predict the future, give them your complete focus and praise them for each modest victory along their path.
“How long have you been clean?”
Why it doesn't work: A person with an addiction to alcohol or drugs has symptoms like anyone else would with other chronic health conditions. Asking a question like this insinuates that a person with addiction is intrinsically "dirty" or otherwise socially unsuitable. This question will immediately put your loved one on the defensive and distract the focus from the hard work they are putting into their recovery and finding their new, healthier self.
"Are you sure you need to go to rehab?"
Why it doesn't work: Even if you're an expert in the field, it's not beneficial to cast doubt in your loved one's mind about whether they should seek treatment. Many people with addiction require professional help, so if they are getting help, reassure them that they're making tremendous progress and the right choice for themselves.
Nothing.
Why it doesn't work: Finding the right words can be difficult for anyone, but that doesn't mean you should neglect to say anything to your friend or loved one. During especially difficult situations, your loved one will appreciate any kind or reflective words you can offer during their time of need. Saying something—with intention and thoughtfulness—is better than saying nothing.
Instead of avoiding a conversation in a fraught moment, try a phrase like, "I can't begin to know what you are going through, but I am here for you." If the moment is more lighthearted or celebratory, a simple, "I am so happy for you right now!" goes a long way.
What to say
It is essential to be affirmative, supportive and encouraging. Consider the magnitude of your loved one’s choice to take this step for a better life. The following statements are simple but mighty when it comes from someone that cares, like you.
Note: These conversation starters are just suggestions. Each individual’s experience will vary, and users should measure their words based on what they know and do not know about their loved one.
"I am proud of you."
Why it works: When someone decides to enter rehab, it likely means they have tried everything else to overcome their addiction. This is a very admirable decision, but it's important to remember that it will not be easy for them. Let your loved one know that you are proud of them for making this commitment to their health and recovery.
"I have faith in you."
Why it works: People in recovery sometimes hit roadblocks and question if they can continue. They might feel like giving up, but you can instill confidence in your loved one by reminding them that recovery is a gradual process, but possible. Reassure them that you believe in their progress and will support them in their goals.
How to recover
If you accidentally say something hurtful or offensive, try to apologize and make amends. It's possible that even if your intentions are good, your encouragement might come across as nagging, which can trigger your loved one to start using substances again, even after completing rehab. If this happens, you may need to step back, even after apologizing.
Other suggestions
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, and you can show your support with some of these gestures like:
— Learning about addiction (i.e., support groups, books, websites, etc.) to better empathize and support your loved one
— Speaking with staff at the rehab facility about discharge instructions to help with your loved one’s transition
— Sending care packages, letters or cards (if allowed)
— Attending the program’s graduation service