When a Friend is Ill
As a supporter, your strength lies in your presence.
As a supporter, your strength lies in your presence.
Illness, like most things in life, is not linear. Although we may wish for an identifiable beginning, middle, and end, most illnesses (especially chronic ones) manifest, linger and challenge a person’s body and mind in surprising ways. When a loved one is ill, know that they are navigating a mind field of confusion. Despite an abundance of medical professionals and treatment options, an ill person may have no tangible control of the situation. Illness begets change. Their lives change. Their bodies change. Their mental fortitude changes. But also, so too does your relationship with them. The person you once knew—their personality, their drive, their approach to life—is different and may never return. Accept that, and reach out anyway.
Distractions prevent action. Know that there is no perfect time or place or way to reach out.
As a supporter, your strength lies in your presence. Not fully understanding a situation doesn’t mean you can’t support a person within it. Distractions prevent action. Know that there is no perfect time or place or way to reach out. A University of Arizona study found supporting a friend during a crisis like a sudden illness can “help 'minimize' the psychological damage of the disease by buffering its stressful effects on the patient's mental health." Embrace vulnerability. Take the first step. A simple “How are you doing?” goes farther than silence. Accept that the response you receive may not be what you expected, and do it anyway. Keep trying.